


What did I do to deserve this ?

by Tuang



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dont worry it will be mostly fluff, Fluff, Help pls?, Hurt/Comfort, I dont know how to tag, M/M, Not too detailled rape, Trauma, i dont know, smut(?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-09-28 06:45:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 37,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10077935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tuang/pseuds/Tuang
Summary: Jackson is a very social and easygoing person, he's the most popular, handsome guy in the university, he's loved by absolutely everyone.Mark is the discreet and normal guy, nodoby knows him and he just have a few friends but they're not in the same school.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there ! This is the really first fiction I wrote, I'm sorry for the grammatical fault, I'm not too good with English ;-; I hope I didn't rush anything, I have a bad habit of wanting to go straight to the point T.T  
> Well, I'll let you enjoy ! :D

Mark Tuan, 21 years old, hated by the whole university, regretting his life and still thinking what he has done to the world and in his last lifetime.

It seems that today will be another difficult day. When he came in the uni, there where quite a lot of... Eyes on him, scrutinizing him. Again. He really think that he should drop out soon because, thanks to a certain someone, now Mark has the whole uni that just want to see his dead body, he really should have listened to Jinyoung and go to the same school than him but well we can't fight what we love right ?

The first thing he did while arriving at the college was to ignore all the glares that he was receiving and going straight to the practice room (and not forget to lock the door behind him) and start dancing. Dancing was the only way for him to escape this mess, to forget everything, his fucking life, this fucking school, his fucking grades, and this fucking boy. He puts his earphones on and starts moving on rhythm but then, again, he fell flat on his chest because of a sprained ankle and bruises all over his body. "What the fucking hell did I do wrong in my life ?..." Mark cursed low.  
There were people at the practice room's door, "Where the fuck did that Tuan boy go ? And here I was going to treat him to something nice..." a boy said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice and the other laughed. Mark has learned from his mistake. It was three months ago, here, at the same time, while he was practising with his music aloud and an unlocked door, he didn't hear when three guys entered the room and have kind of circled him and then for a totally unknown reason he was on the floor, receiving kicks and punches on his skinny body, the flow of kicks and punches didn't stop until a certain Jaebum has entered the room and stopped them from kicking the poor boy. Hopefully Jaebum hadn't arrived too late because god knows what would the boy look if he didn't intervened at time. He was thankful to Jaebum who has sort of saved his life, Mark knows his name because someone yelled it just before he passed out.

Mark was strong minded so after a week at the hospital, he could attend school again if he wanted to. His parents were strongly against it because Mark wasn't fully recovered but his grades were dangerously going down so he had to attend school as soon as he could. He made a deal with his parents that he can live on his own (with a financial support from his parents) if his grades were high enough, he could easily maintain these high grades without a little (or big ?) accident. But things weren't so easy. He tried going back to school but when you're being glared at like you're being stabbed with a knife it's quite difficult to concentrate in class. And of course, being bullied by more than three hundred people wasn't helping.  
Why was he bullied ? Mark was a calm and discreet boy, he was quite good looking actually so why was he the target ? Because one day, he accidentally spilled some coffee on the shirt of the boy that is like the most popular, adored, loved, perfect boy in the whole universe. That time, Mark was so engrossed in his book that he wasn't looking where he was walking and so the accident came. Actually, Mark had just bump into him lightly and spilled some coffee on his shirt, it's not like he threw his coffee on him, even _him_ said it wasn't big deal but those people... Always overreacting. It was just on Jackson's shirt.

 _Jackson Wang_. The perfect boy. He's a little tan with perfect features, a face nicely structured with big full lips that are surely soft to touch, a sharp nose but no too sharp so that it make us want to rub our nose on his, lean cheeks that make us want to touch them forever, big round eyes that nobody can resist (especially the puppy eyes). His body was as nice as his face, a well built body, arms muscular but not too much, a chest that looks hard and toned, a stomach that is obviously flat, and muscular legs that seems to be from a lot of work out and fencing. A perfect being.

Mark won't deny that he finds Jackson attractive as hell but he also hates him so much he wants to strangle him everytime they are breathing the same air. Of course, Jackson is the reason why his life is worse than hell, he even thought that maybe he should go in hell just to see if his life would be any better, but he won't do nor try it, he's not crazy at this point yet.

"Because of a spilled coffee, my life consists now of waking up, going to school, attend class, being bullied, go back home, do the homework, go to sleep, hope that next day would be better." Mark says lazily in his bed, his thoughts always wandering toward Jackson and the aftermath of a spilled coffee, "Does this Jackson fucking Wang even knows that I'm in a deplorable state because of him... Does he even remember this boy who once spilled coffee on his shirt...Probably not..." On that thought, Mark fell asleep.

The next day wasn't any better, somehow Mark doesn't really know how did he manage to survive, being targetted for now half a year, _"Wow it's been half a year... How did I do ? I should write a book."_ He thinks in his literature class, literature isn't what he liked the most. So... He fell asleep.

_"Hey, Mark ! I just recalled something funny ! Do you remember when we were kids ? We did so much crazy things just to annoy our parents ! It was so much fuuuuun ! ... " Who's voice is this ?... Familiar, but can't put a name on this voice... "Hey Mark... Are you listening ?" The voice asked. It paused. Suddenly a hand was playing with his short hair, caressing gently his head and descending slowly caressing his right cheek. "Seems like you're not, you didn't change a bit, always falling asleep when someone is talking, you should get rid of this habit, it kind of hurts you know..." The voice sighed and kissed his forehead, his cheeks and his closed eyes._

Mark jolted awake. _"What was that strange dream... Wait. It feels... Warm ? I can't remember clearly the voice and face, why and who ? ... "_ Mark thinks before being cut off by someone. "Mark Tuan, you should stop sleeping in class and concentrate !" The teacher shouted at him causing everyone in class to laugh and make fun of him but he didn't care, still bothered by the dream, and so he didn't notice that there was someone who wasn't laughing among them and was staring at his back, intensely. Mark felt a shiver. "I'm sorry." He said bluntly, the teacher just shook her head.

After class, a tall and handsome boy was standing in front of their class with his earbuds on, seems like he's waiting for someone. "Mark hyung !" He shouted and start running in Mark's direction.  
"Yugyeom ? What are you doing here ?" Mark asked dumbfounded.  
"I was transfered here for dance class so I thought I should come and see you and... Jinyoung hyung told me about... You know..." He whispered the last part, scratching the back of his head.  
"Well... I'm happy that you're here but.. Let's go somewhere else okay ?" Too much eyes on them make Mark uncomfortable.  
"Yeah let's do that !" He said smiling brightly.  
Mark was really surprised to see Yugyeom here, especially when it's been a while that he has seen him. He missed the younger, his smile, his energy, his cute pout face, his tall built, his trance when he talks about dance, well practically everything. It's not like that he likes the younger romantically, he likes him like a little brother. Somehow, from the moment Yugyeom arrived, Mark feels a stare, not a death stare but something else, what is this feeling ?

They arrived at the dance practice room. Mark didn't bother to lock the door, actually he forgot because he was amazed and laughing hard at Yugyeommie's adventure. "Hyung ! That's mean ! I'm serious, it was hard to find the college ! I was lost !" He whined but smiled because it was good to hear Mark's high pitched laugh after what he went through, it was always heartwarming.  
"I'm sorry Yugyeommie, but the uni is so huge, how can you miss it ?"  
"Well I dunno, but I missed it ! Stop Laughing !" He whined. He waited for Mark to calm down and started with a more serious tone, "Hey Mark hyung... Why don't you come at our uni ?..."  
"Why ? It's good here, I have this big practice room because nobody use this room, they're not so sportive here." He said after calming down.  
"Stop that, you know what I'm talking about."  
Mark sighed, he didn't want to talk about it but with bruises all over his body, it's inevitable right ?  
"Yugyeom-ah, don't worry, I'm doing fine here, I'm used to here." He smiled faintly.  
"You shouldn't be used to _this_ ! You know you don't like it here, why so obstinate ? Don't you want to be with me and Jinyoung hyung ? Look at your body, it's covered in bruises ! It hurts me to see you in this state, so come at our uni it's not too late !..." He paused. "Or.. Are you... Maybe... Starting to have _feelings_ for _him_ ?..." Yugyeom was really really worried and the lack of reaction worried him even more. "Mark hyung ?... Hey !" Mark snapped. "I'm sorry, what did you say ?"  
"Hyung, you should stop daydreaming when you are talking with someone, get rid of that habit already !"  
_Get rid of that habit when talking with someone..._ "I'm sorry."  
Yugyeom forgot what he was talking with Mark and starts scolding him, in a gentle way of course. After finishing the scolding, the younger sighed because, of course, Mark wasn't listening, so he changed the subject and proposed to dance together since the last time they did it seems to be a long time ago. They danced for hours, when they start they can't stop, except that Mark couldn't jump or move too much.  
Tiredness is starting to take over, so the two dancers stopped and decided to go home. This time Yugyeom has a lot of undone homework so he can't have dinner with Mark but he promised to take him out more often. They missed each other a lot.

After reaching home safely, Mark threw his bag on the floor and jumped on the couch, he was so tired he couldn't feel his legs anymore but he has to feed his empty stomach and do his art homework on which he had spent more than a week and it's time to finish it. So after a while, he decided to get up and find something to eat in the fridge, he opted for a sandwich, bread with mayonnaise and ham. Simple and good.  
After the homework, that took him three hours to finish, he took a fast shower and almost ran to his bed, it was past midnight. He started to think about what Yugyeom had said earlier. Is he really starting to develop _feelings_ for Jackson fucking Wang ? What kind of feelings ? Maybe, it was hate ? No, he didn't hate him, quite the opposite... Maybe that's why he survived in this school for half a year... "What the hell ! Stop thinking and sleep !" He closed his eyes, trying to sleep, with little success.

He took his phone and starts scrolling his social medias, when a picture catches his attention. It was a picture of him, well technically it was his back but it's still him. The outfit of the boy's back is the same as him, so it is absolutely him, unless someone is wearing the same clothes as him but with his popularity, people prefer to burn they clothes than to wear them even if the clothes look good. It's weird, who could have taken this picture, and in such a... _Beautiful_ way ? Not that Mark was in love with his back but, it was showing an endearing view... Showing... _Love_ ? "What, love ? No no no my brain's just dead from the day..." It's really cliché but it's like when the boyfriend takes a picture of his sleeping girlfriend...

Mark was sleeping on his left side, same side as the photo was taken, he had his grey oversized sweat, and we could see that he was wearing a light blue skinny jeans. Mark was kind of curled up on himself, he looked like a bigger size of a sleeping baby cat. He was sleeping lightly but soundly, peacefully but bothered at the same time, the way Mark was sleeping emanated a warm feeling and sort of appeased our stressed mind. He looks so vulnerable while sleeping that all we want to do is protect him from any harm, or, to take him in our arms and hug him forever. "Urgh I want to punch myself for sleeping like this !" He grunted loudly, slapping his face.  
Somehow he couldn't refrain himself from looking the comments, strangely enough, nobody know it was him, with how he's always being stared and glared it's quite surprising. The comments were pratically all saying the same, like "Oh my god who's this ?!" ; "Wow this person's back is beautiful !" ; "Is it someone dear to you ?" ; "Wow... This person is so lucky !!" and many more. Not really interesting.  
He didn't pay attention but the description says _"Wish you would look at me..."_ , who wants Mark to look at her or him, someone in his literature class that's for sure but who ? He's sure he's hated by the whole college..... And so he fell asleep.

The next day's waking up was hard. Really hard. Mark didn't want to get up and get ready for school, not after the picture and not after he barely slept four hours, waking up pratically every hour and having a hard time to find sleep again. "I don't want to go... But I can't skip..." Somehow he has fallen asleep. When he woke up again and looked at the clock, he was late, if he doesn't come out now he will be in deep shit. Today was his last day to hand his art homework and he didn't worked like a week on it for nothing. He got up, ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth and tried to make his face at least presentable, he carelessly choosed his clothes, which was yesterday's, and sprinted out of his house, no time for breakfast. Fortunately he was quite sportive so he can make it to the uni in ten minutes.

He was running faster than usual and made it in seven minutes but just before arriving at the uni's fence he bumped into someone that he didn't saw (how did he not see this person ? Don't know~.), but it was not nobody ! He bumped into _Jackson fucking Wang_ ! He falls on the floor loudly and grunted, he was surprised (not pleasantly) that it is the second, and surely not the last, time that he bumps into this flawless being ! Why was life torturing him like this ? ... "I'm sorry ! Are you okay ?" Jackson said softly, worry in his eyes and stretched his hand to help the boy on the floor to stand while Mark was in another world like always.

Mark's heart wasn't ready, Jackson's voice right now was just... So. _Sweet_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how was first chapter ? Don't hesitate to tell me how it was, if things were rushed, if things needs to be more detailed, if the story doesn't make sense... Comments and advice are welcome ! :D  
> But, of course, if you liked it, leave a comment too ! :3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter ! Oh my god, I broke my heart while writing this chapter... ;A; But it's okay. ;-; I think that maybe I rushed things in this chapter... Bad habit bad habit ! TnT  
> Hope you enjoy it ! :D

"Oh my... I'm sorry are you okay ?" Jackson asked.  
Mark was still wandering in his thoughts, trying to figure if this was real life or a dream. So he opted for a dream and took Jackson's hand. "I'm okay, thanks." He said, his voice low. The first thing he wanted to do was to complain about his miserable life because of the one in front of him, but he resisted the urge, he didn't want Jackson to think that he is some weak or pathetic guy which he's not.

They locked eyes for a few seconds, not knowing what to say, before a voice called from behind Jackson, "Jackson what's wrong ! Come or not ?", Jackson turned and yelled, "Coming ! ... Sorry gotta go pretty boy." He winked and smiled so brightly that it could blinds us, Mark just managed a "Uh, okay..." before Jackson just flew away.  
Was he really dreaming ? Mark pinched himself, well... It hurted, so he wasn't, but did he misheard something ? Jackson _did_ call him "pretty boy" right ?... Haha, that's impossible, "I should do something about my mind, maybe some vacation ? ... " Mark was cut off by the bellring telling him to go to his art class and finally hand his homework.

Since that picture, Mark is having big problems with his feeling, he's hoping that the one who took the photo would be Jackson, but what does it change ? Does Mark like him, romantically ? That's not possible right ? After all, _he_ is the reason why Mark is suffering everyday... Wait. Why does Mark stay here, when there are a lot of college who proposes dance class, why the fuck Mark is still here ? It can't be what they call "Love at first sight" right ? Right ? ...

When he arrived at his classroom, everyone was staring at him so intensely that it looks like they wanted to burn him alive...  
Oh, something he never notice, Jackson Wang was in the same class. He has a big toothy smile on his face, it seems that someone glued his lips to his ear... But, this smile was directed at him, it was uncomfortable. "Mark, stop daydreaming and go sit down." the teacher said, sighing and losing patience. "Uh, yeah, here homework." He handed his homework before going lazily to his seat.  
  
_"What the fucking hell did I do wrong ! Why me ? Why..."_

It should have been the routine, after classes he was supposed to go to his dance class which Yugyeom has joined and start dancing to their heart content. Yugyeom said that he would be late, so naturally Mark was waiting for him. He was sitting comfortably on a bench in front of the practice room, when suddenly he was pulled and thrown in the room with a lock sound behind. He recognized those guys, it was them that beat the shit out of him last time.  
"Hey Tuan boy, I'm sure we told you _not_ to approach Jackson and here you are taking his hand." A punch.  
"Yeah, how dare you touch him, you're not even allowed to be near him." A kick.  
"You're an eyesore, how could Jackson smile so brightly at _you_ !!" Kicks and punches.  
"Hey guys we should let him _understand_ what it means to not approach Jackson, if you know what I mean, it seems like he doesn't understand." One _proposes_ while the two others nodded and were smiling creepily.

Within a few a second, Mark was naked, one of those guys covered his mouth, while the others took a hold of his hands and legs. "Oh my, his skin's so soft, so white, quite perfect, just like a _girl_ !" The three boys laughed.  
"And he's going to be taken like a _girl_ !" They laughed again.  
Mark was already at the verge of crying, hearing the last sentence broke everything in him. He felt his legs being spread wide, something was poking at his hole, and then, an unbearable pain was being feel, it tore his inside so badly that blood was slowly slicking down, a muffled cry was everything that could leave Mark's mouth. Tears were overflowing, he couldn't utter a word, he couldn't move nor shout, he was _caged_. The one that was inside him continued to thrust until he came, then the other came inside him, and then the last one came inside him. Mark was unconscious by the time, the pain was the only thing he can feel even in his unconsciousness, there were blood mixed up with cum and he was left there hoping that Yugyeom and Jinyoung would soon come.

When Yugyeom and Jinyoung came, they found an unconscious and raped Mark, blood mixed with cum was leaking from his intimate parts and tears still flowing from his closed eyes. They ran to him and tried to wake him but it was impossible, Mark was physically and mentally dead, it was practically a corpse. "Yugyeom, cover him and take him to the hospital. I swear I'm going to find who did this to him and I swear if this Jackson Wang has something to do I'm going to beat him to death." He gritted his teeth, if look can kill, that's Jinyoung's look. Yugyeom did as Jinyoung said, he covered Mark and was now lifting him to take him to the nearer hospital. "Hyung, please think before you act, don't forget what Mark hyung told us." Jinyoung winced and waved at the younger before he flicked the door open, and was now walking with a determined step, he swore he will find who did this and so he will.

 _(Jinyoung's POV)_  
Jinyoung sighed, he asked everyone that was on his way but no one saw what happened, of course, Jinyoung knows that they were lying but said nothing, what can he say when he knows that everyone hate Mark.

After a while, still walking, he heard something really interesting, "Hey, did you see this boy, the one not from here, he's asking everyone if someone saw what happened to the Tuan boy, I can't believe that this boy has friends ! Ha-" Jinyoung ran to him and grabbed him by the collar, practically strangling him, "Do you mind telling me what happened ?" he said, smiling radiantly. "And, don't you dare lie if you want to alive until you're old." His facial expression changed so fast that perhaps the smile was a dream.  
"I- I saw three boys pulling him to the dance practice room and that's all I saw- I swear I'm not lying ! Ple- Please let me go !!" The boy said stutteringly.  
" _Who_ are the three boys and why did they pull him in the room ?" Jinyoung was kind of losing his patience.  
"Be- Because the Tuan boy touched Jackson when he had been warn not to even be near him !" He was already crying his shit out of him, but of course Jinyoung didn't care a bit, he wanted to know something more important, "who are the three boys ?" He swore he will kill them when he finds them...

"Yugyeom-ah how is Mark ? What's his condition ?" Jinyoung spoke over his phone and searching furiously for _the three boys_.  
_"Mark hyung's ok, he needs lots of rest and he has to be emotionally stable and he can't attend school for at least four months which I know he will absolutely attend. How's your research ? Did you found out who did this ?"_ Yugyeom was speaking low and Jinyoung knew that he was near a sleeping Mark, it reassured him to know that he's ok physically but emotionally, that's another problem. First, resolve problem one by one, "I found out, but I can't take care of this alone, so I need you to come back to the uni and help me, hurry up so we can take care of Mark when he wakes up." He hung up, going straight to the school's entrance waiting for the younger.

When Yugyeom arrived twenty minutes later, Jinyoung was totally stressed out, those twenty minutes was like hell for him. He explained fastly what happened with a raising anger from the younger. They were searching for the _the three boys_ , and so they found them in a crowd in the courtyard near the campus, laughing loudly and talking with who seems to be quite popular, _Jackson Wang_ , the two assumed. Jinyoung and Yugyeom didn't waste any more second and went straight to beat the hell out of the boys. Everyone was taken by surprise and nobody reacted until Jackson and his friend came to stop them, even if Jinyoung and Yugyeom were strong, it seems that Jackson and his friend were stronger, "Hey ! What's your problem ?! You can't attack someone out of the blue !" Jackson said, slightly angry.  
"Let me go !! I need to beat these shits to death !!" Yugyeom shouted ; "They are even lower than shit, they shouldn't be left alive, just fucking let me go !!!" Jinyoung shouted.  
Nobody understand the situation, Jackson and his friend didn't let them go.  
"H- Hey what happened ? I think I never saw you two around here, why are you two so enraged ?" Jackson managed to say, struggling to hold still a taller boy.  
"Why don't you ask them ? Seems like you guys are quite close, ask him then !" Yugyeom said sarcastically, trying to be free from this firm hold around his chest and arms.  
" _Bob'_ what the hell happened ? How come that you have two mad boys behind you ?"  
Before Jackson could get a response, a punch flew at Jinyoung's face making him flinch and free from the friend's arms.  
" _Brace_ _yourself. You're_ _dead meat_." And so Jinyoung threw himself on the said _Bob'_ and started to punch his guts out of him, but he couldn't hit much before Jackson's friend came and stopped him, again.  
"Hyung, stop, if you continue we're going to have problems, furthermore we should go back to the _hospital_ , Mark hyung should be awake by now and we should be by his side." Yugyeom said after calming down and regaining his mind. Jinyoung looked at said _Bob'_ , he was bleeding a lot and his friends weren't any better, a little more punches and he would be unrecognisable, sure it will bring problems, Yugyeom's right. "'kay, you're right, he needs us right now. You're lucky piece of shit, don't you dare touch Mark Tuan ever again or I will _kill_ you." Jinyoung said before turning to Yugyeom in order to go to the hospital and see how Mark's doing but someone grabbed his arm, stopping him. _"What happened to Mark ?"_ a worried voice. Jinyoung looked at him from head to toes and looked at Yugyeom but the younger just shrugged and started to walk to the school's entrance, leaving Jinyoung alone to find out the right thing to do.  
( _End of Jinyoung's POV)_

When they arrived at the hospital, twenty minutes later, Mark was talking with doctor and he smiled, seems like he noticed them arriving. It's after talking with the doctor for a few more minutes, that they were allowed to see him.  
"How are you doing ? Better ?" Jinyoung asked motherly.  
"Don't worry Jinyoungie, I'm good, thanks for taking me here." Mark smiled.  
"It's completely normal ! You don't need to thank us !" Yugyeom exclaimed with a smile.  
"Hyung... I don't know if I did the right thing but..." Jinyoung said, worryingly.  
"What's wro-" Mark didn't finish his sentence when he saw Jackson and Jaebum entering the room. He was totally taken by surprise, he never expected to see _Jackson Wang_ here. Beside why is he here ? "Jinyoung... Why is he here ? Don't tell you did som-" the look on his face tells everything, Mark sighed, looking at the bed sheets, not even startled by Jinyoung's action, they have known each other too long for Mark to be surprised by this.

Jackson cleared his throat, not knowing how to start a conversation with this tense atmosphere. "I don't know if we should have come but it seems like it's kind of _my_ fault that you're here, so I came, I wanted to apologise properly."  
Mark hesitated before answering, searching his words, "It's not your fault, it's mine." He smiled faintly, not looking at him.  
"You're in this state and you say it's your fault ? You know, it's okay to blame me, I'm not a saint of something." Jackson practically shouted but contained himself.  
"I don't see you as a saint or what, it's just that it is really my fault, I should think before I act that's all." The room fell silent.

The atmosphere was really dense, they all wanted to say something to ease the ambience but nothing was coming out of their mouths. Mark was laying on the bed, slightly on his right side, where Jinyoung and Yugyeom were sitting.  
"Oh yeah Mark hyung, I adopted a cat, I named him Brownie." Yugyeom said, trying to find a conversation, and he knows that Mark loves animals so why not.  
"Oh, what does it looks like ? A brownie?" Mark laughed a little, it was so like the younger to bring a subject like this.  
"Yeah, it has the color and the smell, dunno how but he's absolutely adorable and really soft !" He said smiling brightly, everyone started to smile, Mark's laugh is magic.  
"Well I can't wait to see Brownie !" Mark laughed a little more at the name.  
"Hyung... I hope that you're not laughing because of the name uh ?" The younger asked suspiciously.  
"No no, absolutely not ! It's rather cute." Mark retained a laugh. The atmosphere finally relaxed.

After spending some time joking and laughing, Jinyoung, Yugyeom and Jaebum had to return to their dorms because they had a curfew and they wouldn't be allowed to enter after it. Jackson doesn't have a curfew because he doesn't live in the dorms, so he decided to spend a little more time with Mark. They were silent, but it was a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's company.  
"Um... Mark ?" Jackson broke the silence, unsure of how to say it.  
"Um ?" Mark hummed lazily, started to fall asleep.  
_"I'm sorry."_ It directly awoke Mark. He sighed and tried to take a sitting position with Jackson's help.  
"What are you sorry for ? I remember I told you it wasn't your fault." Mark said softly.  
"Yeah, you said it, but still, I feel guilty. Jinyoung said that Bob' and his boys had hit you very hard and even Jaebum knows it, it seems that he rescued you one time... I'm sorry..." Jackson lowered his voice as he was speaking.  
_"Seems like Jinyoung didn't tell him the truth, I should thank him"_. Mark sighed again, "It's not your fault, I can't blame them for loving you even if it's a little extreme but things are how they are, we can't change it. Like I said, I was just too carefree, that's why I ended up here."  
Jackson for once didn't know what to say, it's a first for him, usually he's always talking, a bit too much. But this time he didn't have the words, the _right_  words. They stayed silent for a few more minutes before Jackson just said the first thing that came across his mind, "Hey Mark, would you mind if I protect you ?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me saying "What ! Mark has just been raped and he is alright ?! What the hell" it's coming it's coming. ><  
> Comments are welcome and kudos as well ! C: Third chapter is on progress. :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is special ? Well it's basically Jackson's story. This chapter is a little longer, but I wanted to be as detailed as possible and be logic with the story and not let emotions get over ;-; I'm sorry, I think I rushed things... T.T

_Jackson's POV/story_

Since he was small, he has always been sociable, people tend to think that he's always that cheerful and when he's normal, they think that he has problems which is false, he is just tired, always being so happy. But, it warms his heart to see all those smiles around him so he still goes on with it. Until something happened. His mother died because of a disease, she had kept it to herself and she was too good at hiding things so no one notice until it was too late. It's not that they didn't have the money to cure her disease, it was an incurable disease, so she had decided to hide it so she can spend her last days happily. After his mother's death, his father was broken in tiny pieces and so he became a work addict, that way, he didn't have to spend time at home, in which there were too much hurtful memories. Jackson was left alone in this big, too big house since he was seven.

One day, on a freezing winter, a boy who was lost knocked at his door, at first Jackson thought it was his father that decided to come home, but it wasn't, it was a boy who was around his age. "Oh... I'm sorry." the boy said shyly.  
"Don't worry ! Come in ? It's freezing outside." Jackson was desperate for a little company.  
The boy, hesitated a little, "Ok, I'm sorry." he bowed and starts walking in the house. His eyes was wider by the second, it was such a big house, just the living room could be his whole apartment.  
"I think I never saw you around here ? Why are here ?" Jackson asked, waking the boy from his awe.  
"Uh... I was visiting the town with my parents and... I lost them..." The boy blushed and lowered his face.  
_Cute..._ "Haha don't worry ! The town is big so it's easy to get lost, do you have your parents number or something ?" Jackson smiled brightly.  
"I think my parents gave me a number, in case I would get lost..." The boy started to search in all his pockets and found it in his coat, he handed it to Jackson.  
"Good, I'll call them and tell them that you're here so they can come. Oh and you can remove your coat, it's warm here." And so Jackson called the boy's parents, they were totally panicked when they picked the phone, Jackson gave them his address, his parents were thanking him a lot even though he thinks that he didn't do something extraordinary.

While waiting for the boy's parents, Jackson proposed a hot chocolate for the boy, he accepted shyly, not looking at Jackson. "Oh and I'm Jackson." he said while preparing the hot choco in the kitchen.  
"I'm Mark. Thank you for helping me." He said, voice low.  
"Don't worry, it's normal to help people right ? Beside how old are you ?" Jackson said while returning to the living room. "Here."  
"Thank you, I'm 12. And you ?" Mark blowed and took a sip.  
"Oh, you're older than me, I'm 11. What are your hobbies ?" Jackson liked Mark's aura, it was calming and soft and warm.  
"I love dancing, whenever I can I dance !" Mark said, smiling brightly.  
"Ooooh ! Not bad, I like dancing too, but I prefer fencing." Jackson said, taking a sip.

They started to talk about hobbies and what they would become in the near future, Jackson learned that Mark wants to be a dance teacher or a choreography maker or become the best dancer in the world. And Mark learned that Jackson wants to be part of the national fencing team which he is already in but as a junior fencer. Then, Mark's parents came and thanked Jackson a lot, they wouldn't stop but it's comprehensible. "Hey mom ! Can we come here tomorrow ? I had a really good time with Jackson ! And I want to spend more time with him !" Mark asked beamingly, giving a big toothy smile, he was absolutely adorable. "If Jackson doesn't mind we can come here again tomorrow." Her mother said, smiling.  
"I don't mind at all, if you want you can come here for lunch." Jackson said, smiling brightly, it has been so long since he had spend time with people other than those at his school, who were friend with him just because he had money.  
"Okay, we will come around 10am, and I will prepare the lunch, my way of thanking you for helping us." Mark's mother said, caressing Jackson's hair. "Deal." Jackson managed to say, holding back the tears. And after a hug, the Tuan family left, leaving Jackson in this big house.

Jackson was curled up on himself, letting the tears flow on his small face, Mark's mother's touch brought back a million memories, it reminded so much of his mother, she had the habit of always touching his hair and he was really proud of his hair because his mother liked it a lot. Jackson misses his mother so much. The wound will never heal, be it after 2 years or 10 years, he will always think of his mother, the only person that meant the world to him, that could make him smile with nothing, that would always take care of him when he's sick. He doesn't even know how he can smile so much and so brightly, talk casually and a lot. At some time, Jackson had fallen asleep on the hard floor.  
He woke up in the middle of the night, when he got up, his whole body hurted, and then he realised that he slept on the floor. _"3am, take a fast shower and sleep a little more, have to wake up at 8 and clean the mess."_ Jackson thinks and so he did.  
When he arrived at his bed, he couldn't sleep, he was thinking of Mark. Jackson liked his aura, calm and appeasing, liked his shy side, liked his face, liked the way he talks about dance, liked the way he laugh, liked... _Everything_... And so he fell asleep, dreaming of Mark.

 _8:30am_ , Jackson woke up panicked.  
"What the ... I overslept ! Mark and his parents are coming in one hour and a half ! I have to clean up !" Jackson got up awkwardly, his hair pointing in every direction, his pyjamas were a mess, sleeping mark all over his face and arms, he rushed to the bathroom, brushing quickly his teeth, washing his face and changed clothes. When he was ready, he has one hour left to clean the most mess possible, usually nobody come to his house, so he just leave it as it is, but this time he has to make a good impression of him. _"Why am I doing this ?"_ this thought crossed his mind but left as soon as it came.

 _10am_ , the door bell rang.  
Jackson rushed to the door and opened it. When he saw Mark with a big smile, he couldn't refrain himself from smiling. Jackson lets them enter and took their coats but since it was winter so their coats were quite big and heavy and Jackson wasn't all muscle yet... They laughed at Jackson struggling with three winter coats, it was a cute view. "Jackson, you're really a good child, but let me help you." Mama Tuan says smiling brightly. Jackson grunted and started to pout but he lets her help him, his pride as a eleven year old kid was hit.

 _11am_ , Mama Tuan started to cook with the help of Papa Tuan, Jackson and Mark were playing together.  
Since they both liked dancing, Jackson proposed to dance and the way Mark's face lights up was priceless. Mark chooses to play a song called _"Fly"_ because he has always wanted to fly, like a bird.  
The way Mark looked while dancing amazed Jackson, he looked so... Free. Like he has no problems in his life (which should be true). Not only he looked free but he seems to enjoy dancing so much, he looked so happy, with a big smile that shows all his love for dancing. It pratically seemed that he could really fly, if only he had wings, he would really fly. He won't look like a bird but an angel.

 _Lunch time_ , mama Tuan called them to come and eat, good timing, they were starving.  
Seeing the meal practically made Jackson cry, it was so similar to what his mother cooked. The smell, the look, the taste, everything was similar, not the same of course, but it bring back so many memories that Jackson _did_ let a tear flow from his eyes, "Oh my, Jackson why are you crying ?" Mama Tuan asked, worried.  
"Uh ?" He brought his hand to his eyes, tears. "It's nothing..." He lowered his head and let some tears flow down.  
Mark didn't understand what was happened nor did his parents, but Mark instinctively hug Jackson. Seeing someone as bright and cheerful as Jackson cry was really heart breaking, he should _never_ cry, it doesn't suit him.  
Jackson was surprised at first, but he decided to let himself enjoy the warmth spreading all over him, it felt so good and so secure. It's like the secret garden of child, the place where you feel the most safe that only you know. He could practically fall asleep, but he didn't. "Thanks Mark, I'm sorry..." He couldn't face them after showing such a pitiful side...  
"Hey look at us, it's okay to cry, we all have our own problems, you're not alone." Mark said with a small, worried smile.  
"Was it because the food taste so bad that it made you cry ?" Papa Tuan tried to joke and it worked, Jackson was laughing.  
"No no no ! Of course not ! The food taste delicious... It just reminded me of what my mother did, nothing big..." Jackson smiled faintly. "Yeah, my mother passed away when I was seven." Jackson said answering at their questioning look. The room fell silent.  
"And... Your father ? ..." Mama Tuan asked, unsure of if she should have asked or not.  
"He became a work addict and spend most of his time in the office, I haven't see him since my mother passed away." Jackson lowered his head, he hoped everyday that his father would come back, he missed him, he hoped that they would be together to face this, but his father wasn't here and will never be here ever again.  
Again, Mark hugged Jackson, he really didn't like to see him so small, so vulnerable, "You're really really strong... Don't look down, even if your father wasn't a support, it's not necessary a bad thing, look at you now, you're strong and independent, you've built yourself as a man, you should look toward the future even if it's hard ! I know that maybe my words doesn't really help but really, look up and toward the future, because your future is bright and full of success !" Mark said, smiling gleefully.  
Jackson was completely amazed by Mark, he was a ball of happiness, Mark was right, he should look toward the future and stop on lamenting over his fate, his mother wouldn't want to see him like this. A smile started to spread over his face, "Tha-"  
"Smiles suits you better !" Mark said beamingly.  
Jackson laughed, "Thanks Mark," he hugged him tight, "thanks a lot, your words helped me a lot, I'm so happy that I met you, that you knocked at my door yesterday ! You're completely right ! Behind this door, there's a big world waiting to be explored ! Thank you so much Mark !" Jackson, for the first time since the loss of his mother, smiled sincerely.  
After diner, Mark and his parents had to go to the hotel and head to the airport because they were returning home, to LA, they were there because of the holidays so they have to go home. Jackson had proposed to accompany them but they refused, he was young and it was late, it was safer and better for him to stay home.  
"I promise that when I get home I'll call you so don't worry, okay ?" Mark said hugging Jackson a last time before heading home.  
"You promised right... Don't forget..." Jackson buried his face on Mark's shirt, he doesn't want to let go but he has to.  
"Yeah of course ! Next time you should come to LA, I'll take you visit the town and we'll dance together again and spend time together again !" Mark said, caressing softly Jackson's back, as if it will prevent him from crying. The time had come, they separated.

~ Three years later ~

Jackson is fourteen, his father had decided to come home, not because he wanted to but because he's ill, he worked too much and had too less rest, he was practically pushed out of his office and forced to take some rest.  
When Jackson saw his father, a small part of him was happy to see him but another felt nothing, it's been seven years that he hasn't seen his father, what does it change now. But Jackson just couldn't bear seeing his father in this state, so he was taking care of him even if his father throw away everything that Jackson prepared for him, he lets it pass until it was too much.

One day, his father started to yell and scold him, accusing him to look to much alike his mother, that he should have never been born, that he was the reason why his wife got sick and passed away. He was rejecting all the fault on him. "It's my fault ? You sure ? I was seven when mama left us ! _I_ was a kid ! _You_ were the adult ! You have known mama so much longer than me ! I have just known her for seven years in which I don't remember everything because I was small !!" He paused, trying to calm down, "I never blamed you when mama left us and then you left me alone and here you are blaming everything on me, are you sure it's appropriate ?" His voice broke. "When I was small, I hoped everyday that would come home, I needed you but you weren't here..." Jackson sniffed, trying to hold back tears. "You don't know how much I missed the days we had together, but it doesn't matter anymore, you decided to let the past haunt you until you die and I have decided to move forward, I'm sure that's what mama would want for us." Jackson started to walk away when his father finally decided to utter a word.  
"Do you really think that's what she would want ? Us moving forward ? ..." He was looking through the window, eyes blank and now calm.  
Jackson sighed, after all, he can totally understand his father, he denied thinking about his wife while Jackson was thinking about her everyday and night. "I'm sure that's what she wants, otherwise why would she want to spend her last days happily with us, because she doesn't want to see us crying over her. We have to move forward, and she's looking and caring for us on her cloud." Jackson managed a smile, looking at the sky through the window.  
His father, looked at Jackson for the first time since he's here, "How come that you've matured so much ?" He said, smiling faintly.  
"Since I met the one who changed my life." He stopped, not sure if he should continue, "Papa, I want to study overseas, in LA." He said trying to see if he can read something in his father's eyes but nothing.  
"Why in LA ? Is the one who changed you there ?" Papa said calmy, looking at Jackson with something that can't be described.  
"Yeah... I want to see _him_ aga-" Jackson stopped himself when he realised that he let out it was a boy, he knows that his father was a little homophobic, well, it's not really accepted in chinese family...  
"Oh, it's a boy ? What's his name ?" Jackson was completely startled, he wasn't expecting this response, he thought that his father was going to throw him through the window, son or not.  
"His name's... Mark..." Jackson said not sure if he should have or not.  
"Mark ? Nice name." He paused. "Is he going to come here some time ?" he asked, looking at a puzzled Jackson.  
"He... He will be here next month, for the Christmas holidays..." Was it the right thing to say ? Jackson didn't know.  
"Tell him to come here if he has time, I would like to meet him, to meet the one who changed my son." He said smiling faintly.  
Jackson didn't know anymore, was it good news or bad news ? If Mark come here and sees his father, will his father deny Mark and say that he is bad influence for his son ? That night, Jackson couldn't get any sleep.

~ Next month ~

_"Hey, are you sure that we have to come ? I'm kind of nervous..." a voice on the other line says._  
_"Don't worry, it will be alright, you shouldn't be nervous ! Haha !"_

A knock at the door and a family appeared.  
It was the Tuan family, they were here after finishing visiting their families in Taiwan, they promised to come because Jackson told them that he's father was there and wanted to meet them.  
They entered the house, mama and papa Tuan greeted Jackson with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, then they greeted papa Wang with a handshake with lots of smiling. Jackson's eyes was wide open, he hadn't seen his father like this for a long long time... Jackson greeted Mark with a big hug, he missed him a lot. Mark greeted papa Wang with a bow and a shy handshake.

After the greetings, papa Wang proposed to start eating diner, food were getting cold. It was mostly the adults that were talking, discussing about work and life and how happy they were that their sons are getting along so well.  
"Yeah, I'm really happy, Mark isn't a boy that talks a lot but with Jackson, he becomes another person, haha !" Mama Tuan said making papas laugh and Mark blush and Jackson find it cute.  
They talked a lot about Mark changing Jackson, in a positive way of course, and for that papa Wang was thankful to them for that because, he wasn't a good father enough, he let his feelings overwhelmed everything and forget that he still have a really really good son. Jackson was taken aback by his father's words, he really wasn't expecting this and that made Jackson cry, oh god he's always crying when Mark is here, so weak of him. He hugged his father tightly, happy that he finally understand that they need to move and not let past hunt them forever.

After diner, papa Wang proposed to the Tuan family to sleep here, they refused, because they were embarrassed about it, but seeing that papa Wang insisted, they decided to accept and apologised for the inconvenience, apologises that papa Wang just waved off.

~ Early new year's days ~

"Jackson, you'll have to take over the company, soon I won't be able to take care of it." Papa Wang said. Knowing that Jackson will protest, he adds, "I just want you to take the formation, then if you to take over or not it's your decision, if you don't want to take over it's okay, we'll just close it okay ?"  
"How long does the formation takes ?..." Jackson didn't want to do the formation because it means that he won't be able to talk to Mark for a long time, because the formation needs to be concentrate everyday, every hours, every minutes, every seconds, so no phone, no internet, no calls, no messages, nothing.  
"It takes five years, basically it's until when you're going to be twenty."  
Jackson, eyes wide, mouth open, he didn't move, react, he was empty, his soul left his body.  
"Dad, you- you're joking right ?" Jackson managed to say when his soul came back.  
"I'm serious." His tone was dry, Jackson knew that he didn't have the choice, then two really well built men came in and took Jackson by force, pulled him in a car. For the first time, Jackson hated his father. "I'm sorry..." his father whispered.

~ Five years later ~

The formation ended. Jackson was free to do anything he wants with his father's support, so he decided to go to LA and find Mark so that he can explain everything and apologise. But it's already been five years, will he recognise Mark ? Will Mark recognise him ?  
He asked his father to find in which college Mark is in, of course they searched in dance college. When they found it, Jackson flew to LA.

When he arrived at the college, he was quite amazed by it's enormous structures, it was two of his house. He entered the school, eyes searching for Mark. Somehow, he managed to find him quite easily. After finding him, he went straight to hug him, but Mark shoved him away with a look that says "who the hell is he ?". Jackson was heart broken, Mark didn't recognise him, or did he not want to ? After all, he didn't have news for five years, but it hurts so much... Just before Jackson could explain, Mark was already gone. Jackson sat down, took his head in his hands, "did I change so much that he doesn't recognise me ? Or has he erased me from his memories ?" True, when Jackson could finally have his phone, he noticed a lot of messages and calls from Mark, asking him if he was alright, or did he do something to upset him, or if something happened, that he should talk to him, if only Jackson could... It continued for two years and then Mark gave up. When Jackson tried calling Mark back, he had already changed his phone number and all his social medias accounts. It's like, Mark wanted to erase him from his memories or he just moved on... "Maybe I should give up too..." Jackson laughed sadly, tears starting to fall. Suddenly, a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it, and asking what was wrong, that's how he met Jaebum.

~ Half a year later ~

Jackson gave up chasing Mark, watching him from far away was enough for him, it sound cheesy but when it happens to you, you don't feel so cheesy about it. Loving from far away, looking from far away, it was all he can do, Mark wouldn't acknowledge him so he doesn't have a choice.  
_"It hurts... Being ignored by the one who saved you... Good joke isn't it ?"_ Jackson's laugh was bitter.  
Sometimes Jackson wonders why Mark was always alone and why he has some much bruises all over his body, he assumed it was because Mark danced too much and wasn't careful with his body, but something was off.

On a sunny afternoon, spending time with his friends, suddenly, two guys filled with anger came and start beating the hell out of Bob', "Hey ! What's your problem ?! You can't attack someone out of the blue !" Jackson reacted, slightly angry.  
"Let me go !! I need to beat these shits to death !!" a boy shouted ; "They are even lower than shit, they shouldn't be left alive, just fucking let me go !!!" another shouted.  
Nobody understand the situation, Jackson and Jaebum didn't let them go.  
"H- Hey what happened ? I think I never saw you two around here, why are you two so enraged ?" Jackson managed to say, struggling to hold still the taller boy.  
"Why don't you ask them ? Seems like you guys are quite close, ask him then !" the boy said sarcastically, trying to be free from Jackson's firm hold around his chest and arms.  
"Bob' what the hell happened ? How come that you have two mad boys behind you ?"  
Before Jackson could get a response, a punch flew at the other boy's face making him flinch and free from Jaebum's arms.  
_"Brace yourself. You're dead meat."_ And so he threw himself on Bob' and started to punch his guts out of him, but he couldn't hit much before Jaebum came and stopped him, again.

The younger boy stopped his hyung from hitting after calming down and regaining his mind. "'kay, you're right, he needs us right now. You're lucky piece of shit, don't you dare touch _Mark Tuan_ ever again or I will kill you."  
_"Mark Tuan ? Hospital ? What the hell happened..."_  
Jackson grabbed the older's arm, worried sick, "What happened to Mark ?" he asked, hoping he would get a response, the older boy looked at him from head to toes and sighed.  
They took Jackson's car, on the ride the older boy, Jinyoung explained what happened, it seems that Bob' beat the hell out of Mark because of _him_ , because Mark touched him. Beating someone because they touched someone, what the hell of a reason is that ? Bob' won't get away easily, Jackson gritted his teeth and was holding tight the wheel.

When they arrived at the hospital, Jackson was nervous and ashamed, it was _his_ fault that Mark ended up here, if he wasn't so obstinate to chase after him, Mark would have been fine... "Hey, go or not ?" Jaebum asked, worried.  
"Yeah..." Jackson said, entering hesitantly the room. When he entered the room, his heart broke in a million little pieces, Mark's whole body was covered in bruises, he can't even _sit_ properly, his face is smiling but everyone could see in eyes that he was scared, relieved but totally terrified.  
"I don't know if we should have come but it seems like it's kind of my fault that you're here, so I came, I wanted to apologise properly." Mark eyes widen, is it because he remembers him ? He finally recognise him ? ... No, his eyes says something else...

They discussed a little more, joked and somehow, they got quite along, it was a good thing though. Mark's laugh made everyone smile and laugh with him, it's _magic_. After some time discussing, Jaebum, Jinyoung and Yugyeom had to leave because of their dorms, Jackson hesitated between staying or going too, but he thought that, even if he's the reason of why Mark is here, he is going to stay here, and support Mark in these moments, just like how Mark had been there for him.

Jackson didn't know how to start a conversation, so he said the first that crossed his mind, _"I'm sorry."_ Mark sighed and tells him that it wasn't his fault. Jackson knew, Mark's heart is so big that it could forgive a murder...  
No. He can't let Mark suffer again, all those bruises for the past six months are surely his fault too, he won't let Mark alone ever again, even if Mark doesn't want, Jackson's will never leave his side ever again, _"Hey Mark, do you mind if I protect you ?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I hate my life. ;A; Hope you enjoyed ! :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this chapter is a COMPLETE MESS T.T I needed a transition but I was lacking of inspiration so this chapter is shorter and a mess... Please forgive me ;A;  
> Still, enjoy it ! ;o;

_"Do you mind if I protect you ?"_

Is Mark dreaming or ? ... Mark seems to be daydreaming a lot more than usual, but this dream seems so real... What's happening ?  
"Hey Mark you listening ?" Jackson asked, worried.  
"Uh... Yeah, sorry..." Mark blushed.  
Jackson sighed and laughed a little, Mark never change, "You didn't change a bit, stop dreaming with open eyes and sleep." Jackson says, helping Mark to lay on bed. Mark was looking at him, eyes wide open, as if he saw a ghost, "I didn't... Change ? What ? ... We know each o-" Mark couldn't finish his sentence when his head started to hurt really badly. Jackson didn't know what was happening, but he knew that Mark was hurt so his reflex was to call a doctor.  
After the doctor looked at Mark's headache and made sure he is sleeping, he turns to Jackson and tells him, "He seems to have a temporary amnesia, seeing his conditions, it may have been more than a year now, but it looks like he didn't recover a part of his memory, that's why he's still having headache. He needs to rest a lot, please take good care of him. I'll tell you what to do when he can leave the hospital. Now let him sleep. You can stay here if you want but don't wake him." Jackson was completely dumbfounded, Mark has an _amnesia_  ? What ? When ? How ? Which part of his memory he didn't recover ? Is it the part with Jackson ? These questions were left without response, for now. Jackson now knows why Mark rejected him when they met again.

Jackson was sitting next to Mark with a look full of feelings, confused feelings, but what could he do ? After all, maybe it is really the part where Jackson is that misses. Again, Mark was suffering because of him. He remembered what Mark said just before having the headache, _"I didn't... Change ? What ? ... We know each o-"_ , he said it, with too much hesitation in his voice that shows his incertity but it showed that something was coming back, he may believe him when he'll tell him about the past.

Jackson was sharp at reading people, after spending five years with nothing but humans, he discovered a hidden talent, he could read what people's eyes, people's gestures, people's word, the way they expresses it, what these things meant. At first, he thought that it was coincidence but as the time passed and his "predictions" were practically always right, he came to think that it wasn't a coincidence, but he just developed something at reading people. Furthermore human wasn't hard to decrypt, they were almost all the same.  
_"I should have paid more attention to Mark, what kind of man I am, giving up after a try, I should have chased him, after all I... I wh-"_ Jackson was cut off in his thoughts by Mark waking up.  
"Hey, you better now ?" Jackson asked, softly.  
"Myeah..." Mark said, rubbing his eyes.  
"Want something to eat ? Must be hungry aren't you ?" Jackson smiled, this side of Mark was always so cute.  
Mark's stomach growled, he blushed, "I want hamburgers..." He said shyly, looking everywhere but at Jackson.  
_"Oh god bless this boy"_ Jackson thought and laughed a little, Mark was absolutely the cutest being in this world ! "Hamburgers are coming !" Jackson said more cheerful. When he stood up, Mark grabbed his sleeve and muttered a small "thanks" that Jackson waved off.

When Jackson was out of the room to buy food, Mark started to feel scared, caged, to suffocate, cry, being here alone was frightening. _What_ happened left a deep trauma in Mark's mind and he was extremely aware of it. It didn't matter how strong Mark was, he wasn't invincible, of course it would have left something but Mark never expected something so terrifying.

Without notice he started to shake, to grip the sheets tighter, he tried to curl up in a ball, all the memories, the feeling, the tears, starting to come back, it was _disgusting_. At some point, Mark practically hoped that Jackson was here and would comfort him, "No... I don't need him... My life is disastrous enough, I don't need to bring more atten-", a door opened, Mark pratically shouted, tears starting to have his way down his eyes. Jackson practically ran to the bed, he never saw Mark cry and it broke his heart to see tears coming down his eyes, the first thing Jackson did was to hug Mark tight and reassure him that he was there for him and won't let him down, hoping that Mark would understand that.  
" _It feels... Familiar... ? Jackson Wang... Who are you ?..."_ It was warm and it appeased Mark almost immediately, Mark hated to admit it, but this time, all he needs was Jackson, he always thought that he will never need him, he was wrong.

He released his grip on the sheets and started to move his hands toward Jackson's back who was half standing half seated, Mark put his hands on Jackson's back and gripped his shirt as if his life depends on it. "Here, here, I'm here." Jackson said caressing Mark's back softly. Mark couldn't utter a word, he only sniffed preventing him from crying, he just gripped tighter on Jackson's shirt. Jackson eventually sat down, Mark didn't notice.

They stayed like this for quite a long moment, Jackson thought that Mark fell asleep. When he tried to detach himself a little, he couldn't, the grip on his shirt even tighter. He tried to look at Mark and found two round eyes showing curiosity, admiration, a hint of fear but mostly fondness, Jackson could melt at this look. Being able to hug him, see him so close, to recomfort him, to _be here for him_ could make Jackson die happily. "Who are you ?" Mark stopped Jackson's thought, and had a "uh" in return.  
"Who are you Jackson Wang ? Why do you look and feel so familiar ? ..." Mark said, finally detaching himself from Jackson, not releasing his grip, so he can look properly in Jackson's eyes.  
Jackson had always been amazed by Mark's eyes because they were always talking so much, it shows everything that Mark felt. "I'm Jackson Wang, why the question ?" Jackson tried to joke, working a little, he earned a small punch from Mark, which in his state was more a touch than a punch.  
"Stop, what I meant was that it seems that I've known you forever but I just can't remember and when I try, my head hurts too much..." Mark winced, he doesn't like when he doesn't know, he needs to know, for his own good.  
"I don't know if I should tell you and if you would believe me..." Jackson was too afraid to hurt Mark and telling him the past may cause another headache and he doesn't want that. No he doesn't. But inside, he is dying, "I'm... I _was_  your friend, we met on a winter day when I was eleven and you were twelve. You were lost and after I helped you we became good friends. But five years ago, I left without telling anything because I couldn't, not because I didn't want, but-" Mark was listening carefully when suddenly his face was torn with a painful expression...  
_Marrrrrrrk ! You know today at school, people tried to fight with me but I was stronger and I beat them ! I wanted to hit a little more but a teacher came and stopped me !" a boy... Jackson ? whined._  
_Mark laughed, "Why were you fighting for ? I hope that you weren't fighting because they took your food ? You're not a five years old kid you know." he said softly laughing at Jackson._  
_"Gyah ! Do you really think that I would fight with someone just for food ?" Jackson said offended. "They were bad talking about me, saying that I was too loud and I should shut my big mouth up and that I was showing off too much." He pouted cutely._  
_Mark sighed, desperate of Jackson, "You shouldn't listen to them, they shouldn't be in the sight of your eyes because you are not showing off at all. You're you !" Mark said, smiling brightly._  
_Mark always knew how to recomfort Jackson, even though he wasn't saying something out of ordinary, but it was simple and recomforting, it was enough._

 _"-k ! Ma- ! Mark !"_  
A distant voice, he knew this voice, who's voice was this ? ... Oh. Jackson.  
"Hey Mark ! You ok ??" Panick took over Jackson, he was shaking like a mad man and his big eyes were full of worries, this look doesn't suit him... _"Doesn't suit him...",_ Mark was lost in his thoughts, but was brought back to reality with Jackson's shout, "Uh... Yeah, I'm alright... I think... I think I had a memory of you, we were talking through video call and you were talking about a fight with boys because they were bad talking about you showing off, something like this..." Mark was unsure of what was happening, so he really knew Jackson ? They were like... Childhood friends ? No... Something more than just friends or best friends. A stronger feeling.  
"Uh... ? Oh yeah ! That happened, but it's quite old, I was, what, fourteen ? Haha !" Jackson laughed loudly, relieved that Mark wasn't hurt anywhere.  
They talked some more until when Jackson had to go, visiting hours ended. But Mark was afraid _alone_ and Jackson's sleeve wasn't far... So he grabbed it.

~ Two weeks later ~

 _"Hey Mark ! Are you sure it's okay to let him alone take you home ??"_ A voice through the phone said.  
"Yeah don't worry, I'm sure it will be alright." Mark said. "I decided to trust him..." He said again, unsure.  
_"Hey Mark... Argh ! I'm fed up with my school ! Because I can't leave these days and I can't come on the day you leave hospital and take you home ! ARGH !"_  the voice said again.  
"Jinyoung... I told you it's okay, really, I'm thankful to you, you're doing so much for me even though you have your own business and it's the same with Yugyeom, you two can have your own life you know." He said, smile could be heard in his voice.  
_"Hm.... Okay... Well I don't really have a choice do I ? Haha."_ Jinyoung laughed a little, still sad that he can't come. They hung up.

Within these two weeks, Mark had learnt so much about Jackson. On the outside, Jackson seems to be a very carefree man, sociable, strong, imposing, full of himself . But on the inside, he is not. On the inside, he feels insecure, he's a scared puppy, afraid to hurt people that mean a lot to him, he doesn't want to be the center of attention but he loves the feeling of people around him smiling a lot so he just go along, he's also really tired of being all happy but he hates it when people are sad. Jackson is like a favorite food, a dance, a song, a game, something that will always cheer you up just by seeing or hearing it. _He's so precious_.  
They spent these two weeks practically everyday together. Mark is having back fragments of memories but he can't remember everything yet and that's really annoying because it seems that Jackson took an important part of his life. These two weeks consisted basically of arguing, with Mark telling Jackson that he didn't need his protection and Jackson insisting on protecting Mark and that he's going to protect him forever, but he mean it, _forever._ Mark gave up, he was tired of fighting with his stubbornness and he needs to rest.

Mark still has this strong feeling on which he can't put a name on it, at some point, Mark was thinking that maybe it was _love_. Maybe he fell in love with the same person two time in a lifetime, because yeah he was definitely in love with him, that would be awesome and crazy and unlikely true... Right ? ...

Mark remembered their first encounter though, on a winter day, a lost boy knocked at a door and another boy opened it. Sometimes Mark wonders, why Jackson chase him in LA, he never dared to ask, afraid of the response, was it because Jackson had a debt to him or was it because Jackson did have _feelings_ for him ? _"Aaaaah ! That's too much for me ! Give up !"_  Mark sighed and laid on bed, looking at the ceiling like it's the most fascinating thing, of course it is because Mark was seeing Jackson's picture on it. Mark was going crazy.

"Mark you ready ?" A voice asked, entering the room.  
"Yeah, I am, Jackson." He smiles brightly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOT7's new song is soooooo good !! I will "never ever" get tired of it ! *^* If you haven't listened to it, go now ! ><  
> Here's a chapter, I'm getting less and less proud of my work... I'm now thinking that I should have never started this fic'... xD Well enjoy ! :3

Today Mark left the hospital, and it was Jackson that drove him home. The ride wasn't long, it took thirty minutes, but it was thirty joyful minutes. Yeah, maybe a little too much. Mark was amazed by Jackson's energy, it never stopped and somehow it was really heart warming. After Mark's accident, he never really felt at ease, he tried, but it always failed, it will always come back at him, of course Jackson noticed his strange behavior, but every time he asks he never gets a response. Mark's mouth was sealed. But Jackson didn't give up, he knows that Mark have a sort of trauma but a really really deep trauma, not something he had when his mother died but something worse and that is eating him alive, Jackson swear that he will find what happened. But first, he has something to settle, and he will do it perfectly.  
Mark was asleep by the first ten minutes ride. At every stop Jackson glanced at him, he really was beautiful even though there is something that Jackson doesn't know and that Mark won't tell him, but that's how he is. Jackson's first impression of Mark was someone mysterious, of course someone sociable but who has a lot of hidden feelings that will never be out loud. _"Never wake him up when he sleeps, he is having a lot trouble at sleeping, so whenever he can sleep, let him, he needs it a lot."_ The doctor said, Jackson knows that Mark needs a lot of rest and care and he will be there for him only if Mark wants of course.

The ride was quite fast, the thirty minutes just flew by. They arrived at Mark's house and Mark was still sleeping so Jackson took the house's keys, he first went to open all doors and then lifted Mark up carefully and not wake him, Jackson was walking slowly but surely and he arrived at what seemed to be Mark's room. He puts Mark slowly in his bed, took off his shoes and his jacket, and put the blanket on him. After checking that everything was good, he permitted himself to look around Mark's room, it was rather simple but spacious, a bed near a wall opposite of the door, in front of the bed a large window, on the right side of the bed there is a desk on which there's a laptop, a family photo, some mementos, posters and photos of his friends on the wall, in front of the desk, there is a quite big closet with a mirror that took two doors.  
This room was new to Jackson, the one he remembered was a quite spacious one too, but Mark had a lot more stuff, a bigger bed, lots of CD, lots of pikachu plush, all type of books, photos of everything and so much more that Jackson doesn't remember everything. "Mark doesn't have a single thing that is related to me, that's why he never remembered me... It's like I never existed in his life..." Jackson was driving in sad thoughts until he finds a piece of paper about him, _"Jackson Wang, my life's terrible since you entered it, why ? I was good until you popped out of nowhere... But what's shocking me is that I don't hate you.... Aaah, my life's so messed up..."_ Jackson was smiling slowly and sadly, of course he was happy that he has his part in Mark's life but it seems that he was the cause of his problems, "Oh, speaking of problems, I have a call to do..." he said voice low.

When Mark woke up, he was alone, in his room, for once he wasn't shaking by being alone, it's surely because it's his room so it bring some appeasement in his mind. "Did Jackson go home ? I thought he was going to stay with me a litt-" Mark slapped himself, what was he thinking, he wanted Jackson to stay here and comfort him ? Who was he ? A five years old kid afraid of monsters under his bed ? Oh hell no.  
Mark decided to get out of the bed and wash his face, it will help him wake up.  
He only put a foot out of his room that he already smelled something really, really good, it was like what his mom did. He followed the smell and saw a cooking Jackson in the kitchen with an apron, _"He's hot god."_ he slapped himself again.  
Jackson heard a slap and turned around to see a flushed and crimson Mark, it was really his cutest side, nobody can resist it.  
"Already up ? You should sleep some more you know." Jackson said, brushing Mark's hair.  
If Mark wasn't already red now his head looks like a tomato, "Seems like I'm hungry, that's why I'm up..." Mark said, embarrassed.  
"Ooh, hope that you will like my cooking, go wash your face and mouth, it's ready soon." Jackson said, calmer than what his usual self is.  
Mark nodded and was now heading to the bathroom.

While Mark was washing his face and brushing his tooth, he started to shiver hard, to cry, he wanted to shout but nothing came out of his mouth. He felt confined, he even stopped breathing.  
Hearing a loud sound in the bathroom, Jackson ran to the bathroom to see what was happening, seeing Mark on the floor, he immediately threw himself on Mark and tried to calm the older boy. It's not the first time that Mark cried out of the blue and each time it breaks Jackson's heart, seeing tears on this beautiful face could kill someone. Each time Jackson wants so much to ask what was wrong, who has done something so horrible to _his_ precious Mark, but he never dared to ask.  
His priority now was to calm and comfort Mark. Somehow Jackson's presence was calming, appeasing, reassuring, and what Mark needs the most, safe. Mark felt so safe in Jackson's arms right now that he fell asleep, holding tight Jackson's shirt.  
Tears still flowing and wiped away, a strong hand caressing and massaging his scalp, a strong arm enveloping Mark's small body and held him close to a strong chest and small kisses were deposed on his forehead.  
Mark fell asleep in Jackson's arms.  
"Mark... Will you ever tell me what happened to you ?... Seeing you like this is killing me..." Jackson said, voice low, it was barely audible.

The fire was still on, after Jackson laid Mark on his bed and escaped from Mark's grip, he went back to the kitchen. The food was ready and Mark was still sleeping, what can he do now ? Nothing good... Oh.  
_Jinyoung._  
He fished his phone and starting dialing his number.  
_"Hello ?"_  
"Hi Jinyoung, it's Jackson, remember ?"  
_"Oh yeah... But how do you have my number I did-"_  
"Jaebum gave me. More importantly, do you know what happened to Mark ?" Jackson said, cutting Jinyoung, he really needed to know and he was hoping so much that Jinyoung will tell him. But no such luck.  
_"Jae-... I'll kill him... But what do you mean ?"_ Jinyoung said slowly.  
"He had a sort of crisis and is now sleeping, I know that he has a deep trauma or something like this, but he won't tell me and I was hoping that you would tell me." Jackson said bluntly.  
_"Why do_ _you_ _think_ _I_ _know ?"_  
Jinyoung knows something, that's certain, but will he tell him ?  
"Please tell me, it's killing me to see Mark like this and I can't help him..." Jackson was desperate.  
_"I'm sorry Jackson, I really want to tell you, but I can't. Mark has to be the one to tell you, not me. It's also killing me the fact that I can't tell you but that's how it is and I will respect Mark's decision."_ Jinyoung said making Jackson sigh. Of course, Mark has really good friends that will never betray him, Jackson was happy and kind of envious but he can't do anything. "Thanks Jinyoung..." Jackson said defeatedly.  
_"I'm sorry..."_ They hang up. Mark was slowly waking up.

Mark woke up because of something that was missing and that something was _Jackson_. Mark was blushing, he hides his face in his hands, he had a crisis, again. He was completely ashamed by himself, he was having more and more crisis these days and it was always Jackson that calmed him. Jackson's aura was special, it was appeasing, recomforting, safe and familiar... _"Familiar ?"_ Mark was slowly recovering his memory, he remembers now their first encounter, and some other small parts, but there're still a lot of missing things. "Slowly, slowly.."  
Mark's stomach growled loudly, so Mark decided to get up and going straight to the kitchen where delicious food was waiting for him.

Jackson was startled by Mark entering the kitchen, he was so deep in his thoughts that he completely forgot that he was in Mark's house and that he could wake up and come at any time.  
"Hungry ?" He said, smiling faintly.  
"Yeah, what's there to eat ?" Mark said, blushing a little. Being so close to Jackson was doing strange thing to Mark's behavior.  
"I was hesitating between rice and noodles you know ! But I decided to do rice, it's more nutritious and you need to gain some weight !" Jackson said, trying to keep his usual self and seems like it worked.  
Mark was suspicious of Jackson's attitude, but his stomach was desperate for food so he didn't pay much attention. "I prefer noodles, spicy noodles..." He said with a cute pout.  
Jackson covered his eyes, "Stop with the cute acting, rice is more nutritious and the doctor said you have to eat well ! So I prepared rice, soup, meat, vegetables and fruits for dessert !" When it comes to health, Jackson seems to forget everything else.  
"Okay okay, no noodles, I'll eat what you tell me to eat." Mark said still pouting.  
Jackson had a triumphant smile, and so they started to eat, talking about everything and nothing, but it was basically about Jackson's past. Not so joyful.  
Mark feels like he has known Jackson forever but technically he knows him for about half a year... And not for nine years, well not really nine because it seems that Jackson kind of "left him" for five years because of his father. Mark learnt a lot about Jackson and some of his memories came back too, but the main part is still missing, it's really annoying but he can't do something about that.  
After dinner and after washing the dishes, Jackson proposed to watch a movie before he heads home.

They said watching a movie but in the end they didn't pay attention to the movie. They were talking quietly, laid back on the couch until Mark has another crisis.  
He started to shake, to stand but he fell on the floor as soon as he stood, he tried to crawl on the floor, eyes blurred by tears so he was rejecting Jackson's help, Jackson's hand, everything about him. He couldn't recognize Jackson's form. He was completely scared, terrified, overwhelmed by the memories, the feels, he was _trapped_.  
Jackson couldn't do anything, Mark was strongly rejecting him, he couldn't even approach him, he didn't give up though.  
Pushing against Mark's will, Jackson forced Mark in a hug, starting to say sweet words to appease Mark's mind. At first, Jackson felt Mark's resistance but it didn't last long, "Mark, I'm here and I will always be here unless you don't want, but remember I'm here, so calm down." Jackson said it in the softest voice, happy to feel Mark slowly calming down. He was scared for a moment that his presence didn't have any effect anymore, because if it didn't have effect then he doesn't have his place next to Mark, he was kind of relieved.  
Mark took some time to settle down and all this time he was wrapped in Jackson's arms as if his life depended on it, maybe his life really depended on it...  
After being sure that Mark was okay and distracted from his crisis, Jackson thought it was the moment to leave, Mark needs some space. Jackson was going to go home but a grip on his sleeve stopped him, "Please, can you stay tonight ?..." Jackson can't say no, he can't.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our cutie Jackson will be back soon ! Guys stream GOT7's Never Ever mv, let's reach 20M ! (https://youtu.be/IZ1t7CwfvEc) And don't forget to vote on MCountDown for Never Ever !  
> And here's a new chapter, enjoy ! :D

Because Mark asked, Jackson stayed the night, it was rude, really rude. It's been a long time since he last shared a bed with someone and this time, it wasn't just anyone, it was _Mark_.  
Of course, he proposed to sleep on the couch or somewhere not too near Mark but it seems like Mark wasn't thinking the same, and so, he dragged Jackson on his bed and was know hugging him like a big big plush.  
Jackson was completely taken aback, he wasn't expecting that, he thought, that okay they'll share a bed but he never ever dared to think that they will be so close to each other ! What was surprising was that Mark was sleeping like there's no tomorrow... _"How can you sleep so peacefully ?! Oh my heart keep calm, he's absolutely too cute..."_  Jackson thought to himself, hoping that he wasn't saying that out loud. Jackson decided to give up and wrapped his arms around Mark, it look like it relaxed him even more and was now totally sound asleep, if there's a war outside, he won't even care.

While trying to sleep, Jackson noticed strange marks on Mark's body, they have already practically healed but the color of the skin was a little different, it was _darker_. Jackson does remember that Jinyoung told him that Mark had been beaten hard by Bob', _"So the marks are from beating ? Well, yes, but not only ? The shape is odd..."_  Jackson's brain was about to explode. Beating, strange marks, Jinyoung not telling him, Mark not telling him, he felt left out but well that's how it is.  
Jackson never forgave himself for letting Mark without news for five years, even if Mark had forgotten about him, it was a part of his pride that was hit, he never broke a promise in his life.  
When he was fourteen and Mark fifteen, Jackson promised Mark to do something special for Mark's eighteen's birthday, he had everything planned, and the older boy seemed really really excited but things didn't turn out the way they wanted. It has been the total opposite, life was playing with them, "Playing uh...", Jackson said lost in his thoughts, not feeling Mark waking up in his arms.  
"Playing what ?..." Mark said still half asleep.  
"Uh, my bad, sorry I woke you up." Jackson said caressing Mark's hair.  
"Um, it's okay, can't sleep ?" Mark whispered, eyes closed.  
"Yeah... Can't sleep, but it's okay, you return to sleep." He said, smiling in the dark room.  
"You should be the one sleeping, you have..." He tightened his grip around Jackson's waist, "...you have school tomorrow." The last part barely audible.  
"Oh, it's okay, I'm not going." Jackson said also tightening his grip around Mark's body, talking about school was uncomfortable for Mark and Jackson felt sorry that he made Mark mention it, even unintentionally.  
"Hey, you know you don't need to take care of me, I'm not made in glass you know. Go to school like a good boy." Mark said laughing and letting go of Jackson's waist and turned around so his back was facing Jackson.  
"Are you mocking me ?" Jackson said feigning offense. And so he started to tickle Mark, one thing that Jackson will never forget is how Mark is ticklish and how his laugh was warming his heart. With Mark screaming stop, Jackson suddenly realize how intimate the situation was, they were so close to each other, he had his hands all over Mark's small body. He never realized how Mark was thin and small. As far as he remembers, Mark wasn't that small, he was more... Or is it Jackson that grew a lot ?  
Taking advantage of Jackson's deep thoughts moment, Mark reversed their position and was now on top of Jackson and he started to tickle him this time. Jackson wasn't ready for that, he started to laugh his lungs out of his body, he begged Mark to stop, but Mark wasn't that kind and he continued for almost five more minutes until he, too, was out of breath.  
Yes. They, were supposed to sleep.

They almost didn't sleep last night, but Mark fell asleep right after their little fight, while Jackson was wide awake and just couldn't find sleep. He was still in his deep thoughts moments.  
Since his father forced him to take the formation, he began to realize his feelings for Mark, feeling that he never knew he had. Of course, at first, he thought that it was just sympathy or maybe admiration because it wasn't in Jackson's everyday to see a boy so full of life, that like the life he has and that could be so pure and perfect, in his eyes, and that won't judge someone by his wealth. He was always grateful to have met Mark, he really changed his entire life.  
Since Jackson grew in good wealth, his friends were practically all after his money, he didn't have _real_  friends like Mark has Jinyoung or Yugyeom, they really are good friends. Jackson was so envious, but from the moment he entered college and got rejected by Mark, he too, found a new real good friend. _Jaebum_.  
They had a lot in common, they were best friends from the moment they saw each other, it was like they knew each other since they were born. They both like to prank people, to joke together and to challenge each other, their friendship was based on challenge and surpassing the other and they loved it.

A rustle beside him stopped his train of thoughts. Mark was moving, he was now hugging Jackson with his arms and his legs like an octopus. He seems to sleep so peacefully and so soundly just like a child. _"So cute..."_ Jackson thinks almost every time he sees Mark, maybe he should find another adjective, "How can you sleep so good..." Jackson sighed, it feels like a déjà vu.  
Jackson fished his phone to see what time it was, and it was already 9:30 am, maybe he should get up and prepare a breakfast because he's really starting to starve, too much thinking wasn't too good and food was the best solution. But it was impossible to get up with Mark glued on him like his life depends on it, it made Jackson happy of course but his stomach was starting to express his dissatisfaction, so Jackson tried his best to slip out Mark's thin arms and legs, not waking him, it was hard but he did it.

Once in the kitchen, he decided to prepare a simple breakfast with bread, eggs, bacon and milk or juice, "Should I do some pancakes or waffles ? Or maybe he's not hungry ? Argh what should I do ?" He said angrily, ruffling his hair.  
"Some pancakes will do perfectly you know." A voice said behind Jackson startling the latter.  
"Woah ! You scared me !" He said, placing a hand on his heart.  
"Hey, not my fault, you were so lost in your thoughts of preparing a breakfast that you didn't hear me." Mark said smiling faintly.  
_"That's_ _not_ _the_ _usual_ _Mark..."_ Jackson thinks, having a bad feeling, really bad. "You ok Mark ?", concern can be seen in his eyes.  
"Uh yeah I'm good why ?" Mark asks with a pitch higher and faster than usual.  
"Nothing, you just look... Pale." Jackson's concern just grew bigger but he won't insist if Mark doesn't want to talk...

Mark was awakened in sweat by a nightmare. By his deepest fear and scars that he will never be able to forget for the rest of his life, it will follow him forever. He was scared shitless, if _that_  was going to happen again, Mark will break, even die. When he was at the hospital, he dreamt of it every single night, he barely slept three hours a day back then because he couldn't sleep late at night and woke up early in the morning.  
Since he arrived home with Jackson, he feels like he's sleeping all day all night and very easily, especially last night, even though he woke up in the middle of the night, he fell asleep right after he took his revenge and he had never sleep so well in a long long time.  
Was it... Jackson's presence ? Was it the feeling of being at home ? Was it because he's so dead tired that he needs to sleep ? Mark doesn't know, he doesn't realize that being with Jackson had become a necessity for him. He only realize that for the moment, he just wants and needs to be with Jackson.  
_Jackson_. He has a really sweet personality and heart. To be honest, it can't be seen if you don't spend an entire week with him, because he hides it very well under his shiny personality which makes us think that he's always so bright when in reality he's more serious and cares a lot of his surrounding. Sometimes he cares a little too much but seeing his worried face is a quite good thing.  
Mark thought of talking about what had happened with Jackson but he really isn't ready for that, furthermore, the ones who did that to him are friends with him -according to Jinyoung- and Mark isn't the kind of person that break others friendship...

"Earth to Mark, you hear me ?" Jackson said waving his hand in front of Mark's eyes.  
"Oh yeah sorry.." Mark said, startled.  
"I think that you're not okay, you should sleep some more you know." Jackson said, always so caring.  
"Can't sleep... Don't worry I'm alright ! Let me help you prepare breakfast !" Mark said trying to be more lively.  
Jackson was hesitant for a few minutes but he decided to let Mark move a little, it was also good for his body, "Okay, so for breakfast we'll have bread with eggs and bacon and some milk or juice and if you want some pancakes."  
"Oww quite a lot, looks like I'm going to get fat in no time haha !" Mark laughed.  
"That's my goal ! You're like a skeleton !" Jackson says, preparing breakfast.  
"What, you jealous ?" Mark joked, not thinking that Jackson would take it seriously.  
"Yeah I am so what, I am going to get you so fat that I will look like a skeleton beside you hehe..." Jackson said with an evil laugh.  
"Oh really...?" Mark asked taking some honey from the honey pot and started to put it all over Jackson's face.  
"Hey ! You little..." Jackson didn't finish his sentence when Mark put more honey on his face, Jackson wasn't going to let Mark do what he wants, he took the beaten eggs and wiped some on Mark.  
And so, a war started, but it didn't last long because it's forbidden to play with food.  
They prepared breakfast quietly and from time to time, they attacked each other.

It was 11:30 am when they finished eating breakfast, they played too much so they ended up eating late.  
"Hey Mark I'm going to head home fo-" Jackson didn't finish his sentence when two small arms came around him, holding him tight.  
"Stay a little more ?..." Mark said, using his cutest pout because he knows that Jackson can't resist it.  
"Let me finish," Jackson said, wrapping his around Mark, "I'm just going to get some stuffs and change clothes 'cause these are smelling bad and I'll be right back." Jackson said looking at a now blushing Mark.  
Mark was totally embarrassed because he moved before thinking and when he realized it was already too late but being in Jackson's arms had a strange effect on Mark, it felt so right that he didn't want to leave these arms. "Uh.. Okay... Sorry..." Mark managed to say while removing his hands from Jackson's body.  
"Haha no need to be shy, I know so much more of you you know." Jackson said with a warm and nostalgic smile.  
Mark smiled sadly, he wanted to remember everything about Jackson. The memories he had about him was now so precious to him, he didn't even realize that he knows now every details of everything related to Jackson.  
Looks like Jackson knows how to read people's mind, "Hey Mark don't feel sad, it's okay for you to not remember everything, no need to rush things." Jackson's smile was small, happy, warm, sweet, soft but sad too... Mark was feeling so bad right now, he really hate it when Jackson shows sadness, it doesn't suit him.  
"I'm sorry..." Mark blurted out, not knowing what to say.  
Jackson sighed, "What are you sorry for ? I said it was okay right ? So stop feeling bad now. Between what do you want to eat for lunch ? I'm buying." Jackson said trying to change the subject.  
"Uh ? Lunch ? Didn't we just ate breakfast ?" Mark laughed a little, the sudden change of subject was unexpected.  
"Well yeah but we still need to eat lunch !" Jackson recovered from his thoughtful mood.  
"Uh dunno... Take what you want, I thought you were going feed me until I'm so fat that you will look so thin beside me." Mark said on a funny tone.  
"Yeah don't worry I will ! Okay okay so I'll be back soon and if you have a problem just call me, we're good ?" Jackson said determined, he realized that it's hard to leave Mark even for just an hour.  
"Yeah don't...worry." Mark said unsure, he has become so dependent of Jackson and he was too used to Jackson's presence, what if he had another crisis ? ... No, it will be ok.  
Jackson didn't say anything, waiting for Mark to be sure.  
"Don't worry Jackson, I'll be alright !" Mark said with a wide smile.  
Jackson wasn't convinced but he needed to go home and to go somewhere else, _something_ has to be done. "Okay, you sure you good ? Call me if you need me okay ?"  
"Jackson, you look like a mother, don't worry I'm a grown up boy haha !" Mark laughed at Jackson's motherly side.  
"Okay okay, I'm going, I should be back in an hour, if you're hungry eat something, I'll be back with lunch." Jackson says while wearing his shoes.  
"Yes mom." Mark said, containing a laugh.  
Jackson glared at him a little bit, he doesn't like being called mom but he laughed too. So, Jackson left the house and was now heading to his own house in his car. He was worried because, what if Mark has another crisis and Jackson won't be here to calm him, what if Mark forces himself to do something because Jackson won't be here to help him, what if-, "Waaah, my thoughts are going a little too far, Mark isn't a seven years old boy, he'll be good on his own right."  
_He'll_ _be_ _good_ _on_ _his_ _own_ _right ? ..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, thank you so much for leaving kudos, it make me really happy and it motivate me to write more !  
> Thank you so much ! :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have too much ideas but I don't know how to write them. T^T  
> Well, enjoy ! :D

-Jackson-

Jackson arrived at home already missing his precious Mark, but his mind is determined to beat the shit out of Bob' and his band, he had always knew that they weren't good persons but rejecting people based on jugements wasn't in Jackson's habits. His first impression of them wasn't so good, it was his second week of college in the States, Bob's gang attacked him and Jaebum for their money, they were like real gangsters. But because Jackson's popularity was rising, they supposedly changed and excused themselves for attacking them. Such hypocrites.  
Jackson dialed Bob's number,  
 _"Hello ?"_ A voice said through the phone.  
"Hey Bob ? Are you free ?" Jackson said, containing his anger.  
 _"Oh Jackson ! Of course I'm free !"_ Bob said excited, not knowing what was waiting for him.  
"Good, can we meet at the coffee shop near college ?" Jackson said, smiling devilishly.  
 _"Of course no problem ! When do we meet ?"_  Bob was too excited, poor boy.  
"Can you now ? Oh and call the Fred and Sash'."  
 _"Uh, yeah of course !"_  
Jackson hang up.  
Jackson had had bodyguards before, even if it was a long time ago. Because of he's shiny personality, the guards loved him and always protected him efficiently. As Jackson grew up and has now a solid body, bodyguards wasn't so needed. But of course, he kept connections with his old and only friends.  
"Hey, are you free right now ? I need your help for something..." Jackson said mischievously.

Jackson arrived at the coffee shop ten minutes earlier, meeting with his old friend.  
"Hey Kain ! Woah ! It's been a long time !!" Jackson yelled to said Kain who turned around to find two small arms hugging him.  
"Hey Jackson ! Always so small uh !" Kain said laughing, petting Jackson's head.  
"Hey ! I'm not trained for being a bodyguard of course I'm not as big as you !" Jackson reply with a pout making Kain melt, he could never resist to Jackson when he's acting cute.  
"Okay okay, so mind telling me why you call me out after, what, ten years ?" Kain said with a more serious look.  
"Okay, so I would like you to help me have informations." Jackson said so seriously that it surprised Kain.  
"Plan ?" Kain asked and Jackson answers quickly because Bob and his band are arriving.  
After explaining the plan, Kain retreated himself and goes straight to the place Jackson told him.  
Bob and his friends arrived right on time, Jackson greeted them smiling happily when inside he's burning with rage. How can he act and lie so nicely ?  
Jackson asked them if they wanted to have something and he was paying, they all said no pretending to feel shy. Without more formalities, Jackson decided to take them to the place where Kain is already waiting for them. Fortunately, there was an unused factory near the coffee shop and that's where Jackson is going to take the three people who's following him wagging their tails. Jackson doesn't intend to use force to get information but if it's needed he won't have pity, whoever touches his Mark whoever is gonna die.  
Once arrived at the factory, they climbed quickly the stairs and arrived at the third floor where nothing can be seen. Kain was told to stay hidden unless the situation degenerates and he will protect Jackson at all costs.  
The trio was completely lost, what were they doing in an unused factory where nobody come ? They were looking at Jackson questioningly who only smiled.  
"So guys, I don't have much time so I won't be long, I want to know what happened that day on the campus when there were two boys who was beating the hell out of you." Jackson dropped the smile, anger and the need to kill can be seen in his eyes.  
The trio shivered, "Wh-What are you talking about ?" Bob' said scared.  
"I want to fucking know what you guys did to Mark Tuan !" Jackson was losing his patience, he didn't ask for the moon, can't they just answer ?  
"We-We did not- nothing !" Fred nearly shouted, extremely afraid. They never saw Jackson this furious and they may not want to see it again.  
"Nothing ? Don't you dare lie to me, I'm not in the mood. Tell me the truth or you won't return to your homes alive." Jackson lost patience, he doesn't like it when people took him for an idiot which he's absolutely not.  
"We really did nothing ! It was just those two guys who attacked us out of blue !" Bob' lied, Jackson saw it in his eyes and his tone. When people are lying, their tone is higher and their eyes are looking everywhere except at the person they were lying to and their hands will start to shake slightly and move around a lot.  
"You sure you want to continue on lying ? Do you still want to live ?" Jackson wasn't really asking because Bob seems to really want to die.  
They were frozen, completely scared in front of this unknown Jackson Wang. Suddenly, a really tall and really well built man came out and was standing next to Jackson, in comparison Jackson was looking like a child, the came out man was so imposing. If Bob and his friends weren't already shaking the hell out of them, now they are completely shitting themselves.  
"I don't have time for your lies, tell me what really happened or we're going to beat you to death, just like what you did to Mark." Jackson said with a murderous look, he's ready.  
"Ok ok !!" Bob said raising his hands in surrender, "Yes... We did something to him, but it was for you ! He touched you with his filthy hand !!" Bob was panicking.  
"What did you do to him ?" He growled, even his voice sounds like a monster.  
"We... We-We _raped_ hi-" He didn't even finish his sentence that Jackson already punched him, ready to kill.

-Mark-

Mark was having a hard time finding something to do, he was so bored. It's so better when Jackson and his positive attitude are around furthermore we never get bored with him, he always have his stupid ideas that no one can live without. Since Mark had nothing to do, he decided to do some laundry which consisted of putting clothes in the washing machine and press on.  
Again, he has nothing to do so he opted for some TV, a humorous show was the best but it wasn't the same without Jackson and his so exaggerated reaction... _"Wow when did I become so dependent of him... Always thinking about him..."_  Mark got so lost in his thoughts that he fell asleep.

  
"MARK !!! When are you going to come again ?!" A familiar voice shouted.  
"Uh ? I dunno, maybe next winter vacation ?" He replied.  
"Oh my god, winter vacation are... NEXT YEAR !" He said with a proud and wide smile.  
"Oh my god you're impossible Jackson." Mark said sighing and laughing. _Jackson..._  
"Yeah I know haha ! But you know you love it." Jackson said putting out his tongue.  
"Yeah, unfortunately." Mark sighed again smiling.

  
Oh. A memory.  
It happened a little after Mark landed in LA, coming back home after his winter in Hong Kong. The Tuan family has the custom of always visiting family in winter's vacation so they can celebrate Christmas and New Year all together, which Mark always looked forward to because he loves and misses his family so much. And since the day he met Jackson, he misses Jackson as well.  
Mark has recovered practically all of his memories by sleeping and having dreams, but there's one missing thing about Jackson. The _feel_. Mark just can't remember what Jackson meant to him before, he only knows that he took and still takes an important part in his life, maybe a little too important.  
The first day when they met again, when Jackson hugged him at the college, Mark felt a warm and familiar feeling but at that time he just couldn't put a name on this feeling so he rejected him, which he sincerely regrets, but then with time, he began to notice Jackson more and more, to notice every little detail about him, to think about him every second, to daydream about him all day long, to talk about him with his friends, to even dream about him at night. He knows that he already fell in love with him, but he would never admit it, he's trying to reach something out of reach and he's not willing to suffer.   
Somehow, he doesn't know how and why, being bullied and attacked by the whole school wasn't something unbearable, just because he got to see Jackson every day and with just his so bright smile, Mark thinks he could live at least for a week. Is being in love so blinding ? It seems yes.

Suddenly, Mark woke up in sweat, eyes shut tight with tears flooding down his cheeks, lips parted trying to form a sound but nothing came, his whole body shaking uncontrollably and curling up on himself, his hands trying to fight off something that wasn't here. Again, Mark is living the nightmare and this time no one is around to help him calm down, he was _all alone again_. Tears were flooding down harder, he eventually fell down, he felt pain but it wasn't the pain of falling on the floor, it was the tearing pain he felt that day. The day he thought his lower half and his mind were going to break in two, the day he thought he was going to die...  
Mark just couldn't calm down without someone helping him, he was still shaking senselessly, the memories was eating him alive. He was crawling on the hard floor trying to find somewhere his subconscious could be at ease, he never found it. He was now totally curled on himself looking like a ball, he was a crying mess, tears never stopped flowing down, his body never stopped shivering.  
He didn't hear when there were loud bangs on the door, when his door broke, he only noticed when there were two strong arms enveloping him like he was the most precious thing in the world. He recognized Jackson's scent. His hands immediately clutched on Jackson's shirt, his head hidden in the crook of his neck, tears wetting his shirt. Sound finally coming back to him and he was now crying, shouting, screaming, finally escaping his nightmare.  
Jackson was holding Mark so tightly that he thought he was going to kill him, but right now Mark needed to know that he is here and that he will always protect him from any harm. His shirt was wet with tears, his ear hurt with the shouts but all of this doesn't matter if he can appease Mark who was now slowly calming down and eventually fell asleep, with puffy and red eyes, the path of his tears still and clearly visible, his nose and cheeks bright red, his lips swollen and red too, surely because of too much biting.

Seeing Mark in this state was killing Jackson, it broke his heart in a million little pieces, it hurts even more now that he knows that he is completely the cause of Mark's pain. He already couldn't forgive himself for leaving Mark, now he definitely wants to disappear from his life, what can he do ? _Nothing._ Everything is his fault, if only he had looked at Mark more often, if only... _"With if one can change the world..."_ Jackson wanted to cry, to kill himself, he never wanted Mark to suffer like this, never. Will Mark ever pardon him for everything he did ?  
After placing Mark in his bed and made sure everything was good, he wanted to go back in the living room but then Mark's small hand grabbed his own hand, holding it tight as if telling Jackson to stay and so Jackson stayed.  
He sat down on the floor, contemplating his so precious Mark, watching as his chest would pump up and down following his breath's pace, he was sleeping peacefully. From time to time, his face was contorted with pain then he would hold Jackson's hand even tighter.  
Jackson was looking at him with a warm small smile, he was happy that his presence appease Mark, but knowing that Mark could have a so much better life without him barging in his life hurt.

  
Like they say, first love is really the most unforgettable one.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter ! I really like Kain, I dunno why xD (Maybe because I created him hu) I think this story is coming soon to an end... Well there's still three, four or maybe more chapter. xD  
> I thought about an epilogue with MarkSon getting married, let me know how you feel about. ^^  
> Enjoy ! :3

_" "Hey Mark ! You'll soon turn eighteen ! I'm so excited !!" Jackson exclaimed._   
_"Hey hey, are you the one who turns eighteen uh ?" Mark laughed._   
_"Wah ! No fun ! You should be excited like me !" Jackson pouted._   
_"Yeah yeah I'm sooooooo excited ! To go to school haha." Mark loves Jackson's face when he's pretending being offended._   
_"Mark Tuan I hate you !" Jackson whined, Mark is always teasing him..... "_

Mark was slowly waking up after a quite sweet dream of him and Jackson again. As soon he opens his eyes, he saw a big frame hovering Jackson, he automatically screamed and squeezed Jackson's hand, waking the latter.  
"Mark, why you shouting ? You alright ??" Concerns can be seen in his eyes. When he received no response from him and saw that he was terrified by something behind him, he turned around and laughed.  
"Hey Mark calm down, I know him." Jackson was laughing quite hard at his friend's face which showed uneasiness because it wasn't his intention to afraid the small boy.   
"Yo-You know him ?..." Mark's eyes grew wider, how can Jackson know such a big and terrifying person ?  
"Yeah, he was my bodyguard when I was little and because I practically grew with him and we loved each other so we kept in touch." Jackson explained and Mark made a cute 'O' with his mouth. "Yeah, so no need to be afraid, his name is Kain."  
"Nice to finally meet you Mark." He said with a big big smile almost as bright as Jackson's, almost.  
"N-Nice to meet you too..." Mark was too intimidated to speak more than this.  
"Haha no need to be so tense, I should be the tense one, I'm surrounded by brats oh gosh !" Kain said laughing loudly and putting Mark a little more at ease, his personality was like Jackson's, maybe Jackson was influenced by him, good influence though.  
"Sorry, not used to see such a b- muscular person..." Mark smiled faintly still recovering from the shock earlier. Mark really thought it was a burglar or something like this. And Jackson as always seemed to read his mind.  
"You thought it was a burglar uh ?" Jackson laughed at Kain who pinched slightly Jackson's cheek, like a father scolding his child. The scene in front of Mark was somehow really endearing, Mark's smile could only get wider and wider, it was really cute and he started to appreciate Kain more and more. Kain seems to notice Mark's stare and his smile, so he pat his head and smiled a fatherly smile, _"Yeah, just like a father..."_  Mark thought at the view and movements.  
"Hey Mark ! Don't you dare to fall in love with Kain !" Jackson noticed them and said with a big pout making him the cutest in the world.  
"Anwww jealous Jackson ? It's no good you know." Kain said, hugging the smaller boy tightly pretending to kiss him on the cheek just to be pushed slightly aside from said jealous boy.  
"Don't you dare ! He's mine !" Jackson growled deep and raspy.  
Mark, in the middle, was again in a shocking state, _"Uh ? I'm Jackson's ? Since when ?"_ , Mark was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't hear what Kain said and he should have,  
"He's _yours_ ? Aren't you sure that you are _his_ ?" Kain said laughingly, he definitely loves to make fun of Jackson who was now blushing because what he said was true, Jackson was Mark's, that's undeniable.  
Mark was looking at the ceiling, something ticklish was poking at his nose, itching really uncomfortably, he was grimacing and then suddenly, he sneezed loudly surprising both Jackson and Kain who were arguing about something. They were looking at him, suppressing a laugh, "Y-You alright ? It was quite a strong one..." Kain tried his best not to laugh but it was so hard...  
"Y-Yeah I'm okay, sorry for that..." Mark was totally embarrassed, he sneezed at the wrong timing, it seems that they were arguing about a serious matter.  
Jackson couldn't contain himself anymore, he laughed so much that his stomach hurt, he was quickly followed by Kain in this laughing session. Mark was quite offended by their reactions, it wasn't nice, he just sneezed, everyone does. Mark slowly started to pout, displeased by the situation and of course Jackson noticed it so he tried to calm himself and calm Kain which was something else, because when Kain starts laughing it's hard to stop him and Jackson knew that too well.   
They eventually stopped laughing. Okay, still a little but stopped enough to talk.  
"You guys hungry ? Want something for dinner ?" Kain asked with a wide smile, he really likes Mark, and he totally thinks he's the best for Jackson.  
"Are you hu-" Jackson couldn't finish his sentence when Mark's stomach growled very loudly saying that it's hungry and needs to eat.  
Mark blushed. Jackson and Kain laughed.  
Mark can't anymore, it's the second time in just, what, ten minutes ? They were laughing at him again, he really hates being mocked at, but because it's Jackson and Kain he will let it pass. Now is the time to order them a little...  
"Hey stop laughing and bring me something to eat, I'm starving !" Mark ordered.  
"Yes yes, my lord, what would you desire to eat ?" Jackson said, a laugh tugged at his lips.  
Mark pretended to think about it when all he wants was a big and nice pizza, "Um... Pizza with meat, tomatoes, cheese and meat again."  
"My lord, you said meat twice." Jackson said with a wide smile which meant that he wanted to laugh.  
"Stop with the lord thing and I know, I want a double layer of meat." Mark said pointing two fingers in front of Jackson.  
Kain was behind, ready to laugh again but refrained himself, "Should we make it or buy it, your highness ?"  
Mark definitely can't, they were too much, "Stop with the lord and highness thing, really, and we're going to make it together. Just let me grab something to eat first." Mark said sighing but smiling.

Preparing the pizza took longer than what Mark expected and he was now totally starving, even though he ate some fruits before. They were playing too much with foods, in the end Jackson was covered with every sauce they used but he still managed to look hot as hell... _"Oh my god, get a grip of yourself Mark !_ " Since he woke up, he's so easily distracted by Jackson and especially what he said, _he is Jackson's_.  
In fact, Kain wasn't so scaring when you kind of know him better, actually Mark loved Kain, he was like the father of the two, father that Mark miss so much these time and he could feel that Kain is surely a great father by his way of talking.  
"Hey Kain, do you like children ?" Mark asked when they finally finished their pizza and was now eating on the couch watching some TV.  
"Yeah, I love them, they are absolutely the cutest thing in the world !" Kain said beamingly.  
"He even have four kids ! And he's thinking of having a fifth !" Jackson said nudging Kain with his elbow.  
Kain blushed, "Actually... We have five kids already..." Kain's face could practically compete with a tomato, it was cute.  
"OOOOOOOOH !!!! Since when !??? How old is he or she ????" Jackson was overexcited, he too loves children.  
"She will soon celebrate her third birthday..." Kain said, looking at his slice of pizza like it suddenly became the most fascinating thing.  
"Aaaanw, do you have a picture of her or something ? What's her name ?" Jackson wouldn't stop with the questions.  
Kain sighed, "Her name is Ely, and I don't have a picture of her because, well you know, I'm not often at home..." He said, lowering his head, longing could be heard in his voice.  
Mark and Jackson looked at each other, thinking the same. They nodded at each other before jumping on Kain hugging him tightly and calling him "Appa" in a childish way, snuggling on him. Quickly Kain understood their intentions and was so touched by it, he didn't expect them to act like this but right in this moment, he was so grateful to have met these two wonderful boys.

Evening was quick to come, Kain thinks that he should go back to his home, but he was quickly stopped by Jackson who said that he should stay the night here and it's been ten years since they saw each other, who knows when they would meet again. Kain looked at Mark questioningly because no matter what Jackson says, it's still Mark's house.  
"Yeah, you should stay with us." Mark said with a smile showing all his teeth.  
"You sure ? I don't want to be a burden." Kain said with a smirk making Mark blush. _"He's really perfect for Jackson, they look just perfect together."_  Kain thought looking dearly at Mark who was struggling to explain that nothing was wrong to Jackson making the former blush even more.  
With the strong insistance from Jackson and Mark, he decided to stay the night, after all it would be okay, he's all alone in his own house so it's definitely better to spend the night with these precious boys, what bad could happen ?  
He thought too quickly.  
Mark was having another crisis, but this time it was triggered by Kain's involuntary strong grip.  
Mark felt caged by those strong arms, way too stronger than Jackson's one, he was scared, scared that _it_  will happen again, he wasn't thinking anymore, all he could do was shake and cry and shout. This time, even Jackson's strong and reassuring embrace couldn't do anything, the crisis was triggered by a familiar and close person, so his mind sets Jackson as a potential enemy that he could do something to him, in his state he can't think straight. With all his tears, his vision was blurred, he couldn't recognize Jackson's form, Jackson's scent, he couldn't recognize _anything_.  
"M-Mark... Hey... It's me... Jackson, you know..." Jackson tried to say while approaching Mark a little closer.  
"DON'T COME CLOSER !!!" Mark shouted not knowing, not differentiating anymore.Jackson wanted to cry, he couldn't help Mark when he was in this state, what can he do now ? Everything is his fault. If he didn't came in his life, this would never happen, if he didn't chase after him, this would never happen, if he didn't thought that being near Mark would be enough, this would never happen, if he-. He was brought out of his thoughts when a hand squeezed his shoulder,  
"It's my fault, I'm going to wait outside, try to calm him with the sweetest words you know." Kain said with a faint smile which showed guilt.   
"Yeah, please really, wait and don't leave..." Jackson said knowing that Kain will leave when he won't look.  
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry." Jackson knows him way too well. Kain went to wait outside.

Jackson didn't know what to do, he can't approach him, he can't talk to him... Well, he doesn't have a choice does he ? He took Mark by force in his arms, the latter struggling so much, he hit Jackson in the abdomen making him wince at the pain but not releasing his grip around Mark's frail body.  
"Mark, please, it's me Jackson, you know that I will never hurt you..." Jackson says struggling with an over agitated Mark.  
Mark couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything, all he knows is that he has to escape those arms around him, he has to.  
"Mark, really please, stop rejecting me, it's me, your Jackson..." Jackson couldn't anymore, not only his body hurt but his heart too.  
Mark continued to fight, to attack, to bite, to struggle until Jackson got fed up and kissed him, _on the lips_.  
Mark wasn't moving anymore, too shocked by what was happening, his vision a little clearer but still blurred, the familiar strong scent that went through his nostrils. Mark was slowly recognizing Jackson's form, Jackson's scent, Jackson's _everything_.  
Mark was still half in crisis but the moment he felt Jackson he unconsciously deepened the kiss, finally feeling safe.  
Jackson was taken aback, he didn't expect that the kiss could calm Mark down and furthermore that the latter would deepen it. He felt small arms slowly finding their way to his back, gripping his shirt firmly.  
They separated due to the lack of breath, Jackson was met with a blushing and flushed Mark, lips red and slightly swollen, eyes still closed and puffed, his nose bright red, his face and body a complete mess.  
He hears Mark sniff, slowly opening his eyes, still gripping tightly at Jackson's shirt, lips slightly parted as if he wanted to say something but he isn't.  
"Oh my... What... Happened..." Mark asked voice hoarse from shouting too much.  
"You..." Jackson started unsure of how he should say it, "You had a crisis..."  
"Oh my, where's Kain I have to apologize..." Mark tried to get up but fell straight in Jackson's arms.  
"Sit on the couch, I'll call him." Jackson said, placing Mark on the couch and heads to the front door to find Kain behind it as he hoped. "Come Kain, he wants to see you." Jackson said, smiling faintly.  
Kain was feeling so bad right now and he doesn't want to go in but he can't leave like nothing happened, so he goes in and saw an expecting Mark looking at the door.  
"Hey, better ?" Kain said softly.  
"Yeah. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Mark was cut off by Kain.  
"Hey, I should be the one apologizing, not you !" He said, pretending to be offended.  
Mark laughed lightly, "I have to apologize too."  
"Mark, you have such a good heart... People" he looked at Jackson, "are going to take advantage of you." Kain said with a small smile.  
"I know," he also looked at Jackson, "that's why this boy here stole my first kiss." Mark said laughing as Jackson blushed furiously.  
"Hey ! I... It's because... No... I ! Hey !" Jackson couldn't form a coherent sentence, he was completely embarrassed.  
Both Mark and Kain laughed, always touched by Jackson's silly and exaggerated behavior.  
"Well, I wanted to properly apologize, I'm sorry Mark, I didn't mean any harm, I'm really sorry." Kain said, smiling and bowing a little.  
"Kain, please it's not your fault, it's okay, I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to offend you." Mark said smiling.  
"Such a good heart, such a good heart... I think we apologized enough, as long as you know I really didn't mean any harm, we're good." He said smiling, "I'm going home for tonight, maybe I'll stay another night." He said, ruffling both Mark and Jackson's hair.  
They both understood. They wished him a good night, Jackson hugged him hoping he will be alright, even Mark hugged him wishing to meet him again soon, Kain didn't dare to hug back because he was scared that Mark will have another crisis which the latter totally understand.

After Kain left, Jackson and Mark went to Mark's room and laid comfortably on the latter's bed, Jackson hugged Mark who was resting against his toned chest. How did they end up in this position, they wonder.  
"Jackson you sleeping ?..." Mark whispered not wanting to wake the other if he's sleeping.  
"Hm, no I'm not." Jackson hummed back, sleep was slowly driving him away.  
"I wanted to know, why did you kiss me ?" Mark asked, hoping for a certain answer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so after re-reading it, I really think I kind of rushed things ? Tell me how you feel about :c  
> Again, thanks for kudos and comments, it really motivates me to write more ! :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay been quite a moment since I last posted a chapter (not really haha!) So I finished writing this story and I'm still correcting myself, I don't dare to read all the chapters together so I'll let you judge >.< I'm not really good with stories with chapter I prefer one shot but well... I tried x)  
> Enough of my life, enjoy ! :D

"Why did you kiss me ?" Mark was expecting a certain answer.  
Jackson wasn't responding, it was like he was sucked in another world, he did it in the spurt of the moment and he was secretly hoping that Mark would sort of forget but life isn't so beautiful uh.  
"Uh, forget it." Mark said, seeing that Jackson has no reaction, it was just curiosity, if he doesn't want to talk, he won't force.  
"I did it because I wanted to." Jackson finally blurted out, maybe it was the right time to confess, or else he will definitely never do it and see and attend Mark's wedding, thing that he himself will never have except with the pretty boy in his arms right now.  
"Because you wanted to ?" Even in the darkness, Jackson could see Mark's questioning eyes.  
"Yeah, because I love you and that it was the only thing that came in my mind at that time." Jackson said quite proud, he was proud of his feeling for Mark even though he was going to never tell him, but things turn out differently.  
Mark suddenly got up and earned a loud grunt from the other boy, "Wh-What !? You like me ??" Mark's eyes were growing wider and wider, he kind of hoped for that response but actually getting it is another thing. He just couldn't believe it, he fell for Jackson and said boy is now returning the feel ? What the...  
"Yeah, I _love_ you. I never intended to tell you but well..." Jackson said nervous and also getting up, looking at his hands.  
"Uh... I wasn't ready for that..." Mark admits, bringing his legs to his chest and hides his head in between his knees.  
"Um... Do you want me to... Go home ?" Jackson asked looking at Mark's small head.  
"No !" Mark screamed instantly and lifted his head, nearly bumped Jackson's. Mark blushed, even though they have been this close many times, this time it was different and Mark wasn't used to it. "Um... I just... uh..." Mark didn't know what to say, suddenly becoming so shy.  
"It's okay," Jackson smiled, "I'm going to sleep on the couch." He said getting up and pats Mark's head. At least he can still stay here a little.  
"Uh no please stay here..." Mark was now a cute blushing mess. He would never admits he loves Jackson too, because it sounds so unreal and if it is a dream then he doesn't want to say it. If he has to say it, he wants it to be for real and face to face.  
"Uh okay ? Do you have another blanket ?" Seeing Mark's head slightly tilting showing that he doesn't understand what Jackson wants to say, he continued, "So I can avoid sleeping on the hard floor."  
"Uh ? Sleep on bed ?" Mark blushed even more after realizing what he said after _what_ he heard. "I mean, I'm kind of used to have you next to me so sleep on the bed..." He mumbled voice low.  
"Uh you know..." Jackson doesn't know what to do, should he sleep with Mark or not, well he really wants and he too is used to hold Mark's frail body while sleeping, "I... Okay." He said smiling, he won't let three small words change his attitude with Mark, even if it wasn't really _small_ words... But when he saw Mark's head lifting up and seeing Mark's eyes shine in the dark, it's really small words to describe how Jackson feel at the moment.  
So he laid back in the bed, awkwardly holding Mark, they stared at each other for a moment before Mark yawned and wished a good night and fell asleep quickly.

Jackson couldn't sleep again, it sounds like a déjà vu, holding Mark and not being able to find sleep, the first time he slept here was also like this, really awkward but still thanking all gods.  
Jackson remembered the look Mark had in his eyes before falling asleep, it was a mix of unsaid feels, scare, fear, hurt, but also joy, hope, tenderness, fondness but it was mostly confused, like he couldn't believe that it in fact is happening. Well, it's understandable after what he seems to have gone through and it was a miracle that he didn't throw him out of the window and Jackson was grateful for that. But Jackson wasn't lying, no, what he felt for the older boy was true and sincere.  
He realized he was in love during the five -with no outside contact- years period. At first he never thought it was love, it's most like he didn't dare to believe it was love so he always assumed it was admiration and sympathy. But the moment he saw Mark after such a long time, he didn't think and jumped on the other boy, seeing his face, smelling his scent, holding his smaller body, hearing his voice, having arms pushing him away... _"Haaaaa such bad memories..."_ Jackson thought, closing his eyes, appreciating the peaceful moment and listening to Mark's calm heartbeats.  
After the rejection, Jackson didn't thought he would hurt so much and it was right at this moment he knew he loves Mark so much, he was surprised himself.  
The night of his first day in LA was spent crying. He never shed tears since he last cried, which was at his mother's death, and that night he was crying over a boy, a precious boy, but of course he didn't know that Mark had lost memories. He cried so much that night that he didn't dare to go to school, he even thought of going back to Hong Kong but going back to HK meant to take after his father's company which he doesn't really want to do, he wants to stay with Mark even if the latter doesn't want him.  
He was brought out of his thoughts by a slight rustle beside him, showing that Mark was shifting his position, he turned around in Jackson's arms (wonder how he did it~) who was now meeting with Mark's back.  
He stared a little at Mark's back, seeing that even in his back there were dark brown bruises that seems to heal nicely. "I'm so sorry..." he said while touching those bruises lightly making Mark groan in his sleep, Jackson immediately retreated his hand not wanting to wake the other boy.  
He took a look at the clock, _3am_ , it was only three in the morning !  
Jackson sighed, he absolutely can't sleep and doesn't want to get up and do some sports, what else is left ? Not much things.

Okay, it sounds creepy but it's the only thing that Jackson thought of and can do now which is, staring at a sleeping Mark.  
Yeah, it's extremely creepy and if Mark was to wake up suddenly, Jackson doesn't have excuses. But watching Mark's quiet sleep made Jackson relax a little more and relax even more when Mark turned around again and was now hugging him tight, head on his chest, arms finding their way on his back, legs wrapped around his legs. Jackson felt like sleeping with the cutest octopus in the world.  
He eventually dozed off, hugging Mark tight too.

When Jackson woke up, it was already 10am and Mark was still sound asleep. He decided to get up and prepare a little breakfast, this time he got up quite easily without Mark glued on him which he highly regrets. _"It's been long since I have slept quite well..."_ He thinks while brushing his teeth.  
After washing himself, he went to the kitchen and prepared something simple, bread, eggs, ham or jam.  
Suddenly, his phone rang, 'Jinyoung' appeared on the screen and so he answers.  
 _"Hi Jackson, hope I didn't wake you up ?"_ Jinyoung says.  
"No, I'm up and preparing breakfast." Jackson replies.  
 _"Oh good, I wanted to know how is Mark hyung doing ? I haven't seen him since the other day."_ He said the last part lowly, worry can be heard in his voice.  
"It's only now that you call ?" Jackson wanted to tease the younger and so he does.  
 _"Hey I'm being a considerate friend, I know that he needs time."_ Jinyoung said pretending to be offended.  
"Okay okay, he's doing good, he has crisis from time to time but it's completely normal." Jackson reassured, he could hear Jinyoung sigh through the phone.  
 _"I'm quite happy that you're the one who's taking care of him."_ Jinyoung said in a motherly way.  
"Uh ? Why ?" Jackson was completely confused.  
 _"Uh ? Never mind, I just wanted to make sure he's good and reassure the poor little Yugyeom, okay I have to hang up, greet him for me ! Bye !"_ Jinyoung hung up.  
Jackson was disturbed, what did Jinyoung meant by 'he's happy that Jackson is the one who's taking care of Mark', there's something wrong, he could smell it. Yeah, smell it, the eggs were burning on the stove. "WOUAAAAAAH !" Jackson shouted, turning off the fire and placing the stove in the sink under cold water.  
Mark was awakened by a loud, too loud, shout coming from behind his bedroom door. He slowly opens and rubs his eyes, still emerging from his beautiful dream, _"Aaaaah I wanted to know the rest of it.."_ he thought before getting up from his bed and going to the kitchen where the scream seemed to come.  
"Hey, what's wrong..." Mark said still half asleep and startled the younger boy who turned around abruptly trying to cover the burnt stove and eggs, but Mark had a nose, "You burnt something didn't you ?" Mark asked now fully awake with a teasing look in his eyes. "Hm ? So ?"  
"Uh... Yeah, picked a phone call and it burnt..." Jackson was quite ashamed of himself, he was a good chef and he practically never burnt food, it is precious !  
"Hm... Really ?" Mark has a smirk showing that he wants to tease Jackson a little more.  
"Yeah ! Hey don't you dare not believe me !" Jackson said placing a hand on the left side of his chest, feigning offense.  
Mark burst into laugh, he was half curled up on himself, holding his stomach because he was laughing so much. He just saw Jackson's sulking face that he was laughing again.  
"Yah ! Stop laughing !" Jackson said pouting and crossing his arms on his chest.  
"I-I'm... Sorry..." Mark says between two laughs.  
He was slowly calming down, then his stomach growled, yeah, he is hungry. Jackson was now the one who wants to tease him because he won't give food to Mark's poor empty stomach, always showing it in front him and taking it away as soon as Mark started to lay a hand on the plate.  
They played a little but the two of them were really hungry so they eventually start eating, discussing about everything and nothing, it was basically about Mark's dream.  
He dreamt of his childhood days, in his parents home, they have a really big and beautiful garden with a maze, Mark often played in this garden, it was by far his favorite place to play in. He remembers that when he is sad or angry he will always go in the maze and hide himself until he's less sad or angry so he won't say things that he will regret later, it always appeased and cleared his mind. The maze wasn't so big but big enough to hide a small boy, sometimes Mark even spend the night in the maze because the view is just so beautiful, being surrounded by a hedge of greenery and stars in the sky, it was really the most beautiful thing he saw in his life. He rarely spends winter in LA but when he does, his precious secret garden becomes even more beautiful with snow covering and falling from the hedge and when you were in the maze it was like a different world.  
Mark was so absorbed in describing his so loved garden that he didn't notice when Jackson cleaned the plate and came back listening to his blabbering nodding at what he says and watching him fondly.  
When Jackson interrupted him to go to toilet, Mark suddenly remembered what Jackson said earlier, "Don't you dare not believe me", does it mean that he can believe what Jackson said ? Does it also apply to what he said last night ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I don't really know what I wrote in this chapter, I lost inspiration but still tried to finish it... Hope you will understand if the following chapters aren't too good :/


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a little homophobic things in this and the next next chapter but it's really nothing ~  
> Enjoy ! :D

When Jackson returned, he was met with determined eyes, he gulped. He didn't know what he did wrong but he's sure he won't escape easily, he tried to ask but Mark was faster.  
"Jackson, I just have one question." Mark was serious, too serious.  
"Y-Yeah ?" Jackson was a little surprised by Mark's seriousness.  
"Yesterday night, when you said you love me, is it true ? Like really true ?" Jackson saw hope, fear, determination in Mark's eyes. He really loves Mark's eyes, such a small thing can show so much feelings.  
He was so lost in admiring Mark's eyes that he didn't realize that he still hasn't answered his question until what was in Mark's eyes changed into something confused and questioning, "Uh... Sorry, got lost... What was your question ?" Jackson asked scratching the back of his neck, embarrassed.  
"Yesterday when you said you love me, did you mean it for real ?" Mark repeated still confused by how Jackson got lost while they are standing in front of each other.  
"Uh ? Of course I mean it for real ? Do you... Doubt my feelings ?" Jackson was quite upset that Mark seems to doubt his feelings, he went all the troubles to confess and in the end Mark doesn't believe him ?  
"No it's not that I doubt your feelings... It's more like I can't believe it..." Mark lowered his head, he wants to sink into a hole and pray that he never asked this question.  
"You can't believe it ? Why ?" Jackson asked bewildered.  
"Yeah because uh..." Mark didn't know how to say it. For him, Jackson was kind of a star surrounded by flame protecting him, he was shining and attracting everyone but if someone comes too close he will sort of die. It was like the myth of Icarus, in order to stay alive, his father created wax wings and told his son to not fly too close to the ocean nor the sun but Icarus forgot and flew too close to the sun, his wings melt due to the heat, he fell and died in the sea. And it was the same with Jackson, Mark always thought of him like the sun and being too near him will burn him and so he never dared to think that it would be reciprocated, he never dared to think that he will even be able to talk to him.  
Now that Mark take a look at it closely, a star with flames protecting him, Jackson and his surrounding... Protecting him...  
They have torn Mark's fragile wings, he was only a little bird searching for his home or somewhere to rest, but his eyes got set on this shining star, he was too small to see that there was big flames around it.  
Too deep in his thoughts, he didn't notice when he started to shake slightly but Jackson noticed it and was now hugging him tightly, showing the older boy that he was here. Mark melt in the embrace, he definitely loves those arms around him even though he's never going to admit it.  
"Hey what's wrong... Seemed like your mind suddenly blackout..." Jackson rested his chin on Mark's head, stroking slowly Mark's back, then he felt two small arms wrapping around his back and a head that finds its place in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent making Jackson shiver a little.  
"I...",  _"I love you"_ Mark is unable to say those three words and he doesn't know why, is he afraid ? Afraid of what ?  
Seeing that Mark still has his mouth open but nothing more was coming out he decided to hug him even more tight, "Hey, it's all good, you can tell me what you want to tell me whenever you want, I'll always be here." Jackson smiled on Mark's head, because yeah he will definitely always be here.  
_"You won't always be here... When you'll know that dark past of mine you'll never stay with me..."_  He could feel water coming at his eyes, he tries to hide even deeper at the crook of his neck which Jackson noticed.  
"Hey..." He said, pushing Mark a little away and lifts his head up to be met with a Mark who has slightly red eyes, "Why... Why do you want to cry ? You know it breaks me to see your tears..." Jackson said caressing Mark's cheek, wiping away a tear that escaped Mark's control. Now that he confessed, he isn't afraid anymore to say what he has on his heart and he will say everything to prove that he is serious about Mark.  
"I...", he bites his lower lip, "I just want to... Tell you three words but it just won't leave my mouth... I'm fed up with myself..." Mark said lowering his head, it was just _three words_ , why can't he just say them and be free !  
Jackson was surprised, he wasn't expecting that, "Are... Are those three words the words I think about ?..." Jackson's face lights up with hope and happiness, it was shining too much for Mark's eyes.  
"M-Maybe, what are you thinking ?" Mark was adjusting his eyes because there was way too much light for his eyes.  
" _I love you_." Jackson said with a wide smile, even his eyes have the shape of a smile and he was holding Mark so softly, it practically made him melt.  
"... Too..." Mark managed to say right before Jackson embraced him so tightly he thought he would die. He doesn't even have time to blush that Jackson had tears in his eyes, he didn't see it but he could feel Jackson shake showing that he was overexcited and he's sure with tears. "Hey... I can't breath..." Mark says, hitting slightly Jackson's arms who released Mark and curled on himself in a ball, thanking all the gods he knows. Mark was quite touched by the view, Jackson looked like a kid, a kid that turned around a toy wanting it but never daring to ask for it and finally obtained it. It was really cute to see a blushing Jackson too. Mark was now the one to hug Jackson, he felt something ticklish in his stomach but it disappeared as soon as it appeared. For this strong and always shiny boy to show him such a vulnerable side means a lot to Mark, it means that he really loved him and maybe they could have a long term relationship, well Mark was hoping for it. _"You know, somehow, I fell twice for you..."_ Mark smiled at his thought, thought that he is never going to say or maybe not now.

After Jackson sort of calmed down, they decided to go out, after all it's been some time that Mark didn't see the outside light and breath the fresh air, they opted for the shopping mall and maybe buy some clothes.  
Mark went to his bedroom to change clothes, he chooses a black skinny jean, ripped at both knees and since it was still a little cold, he put a black tank top under his navy blue oversized sweatshirt. When he came back to the living room, he sees a way too handsome Jackson, he was just wearing a black sleeveless shirt with an oversized dark green bomber and a black cropped skinny jean. He was completely breathtaking even though he isn't wearing something stunning, it was just casual clothes.  
He was so lost in his contemplation of Jackson's outfit that compliments very well his strong built that he didn't notice when Jackson came closer but he noticed when he cleared his throat,  
"You're absolutely beautiful... I think I'm gonna die... You'll be the end of me Mark Tuan !" Jackson says ruffling Mark's hair making him even more beautiful with a messy hairstyle.  
"Don't you dare die before me !" Mark says blushing, he closed his eyes so he can appreciate Jackson's big hand on his head. He never thought he liked to be petted but in this moment he definitely likes it.  
"Haha !! Don't worry I can't die before you unless you kill me in my sleep !" Jackson laughed his high pitched laugh, the one Mark didn't hear since a long time.  
"Isn't you who's gonna kill me in my sleep ?" Mark said pinching Jackson's cheeks, "I love your hyena laugh." He said and starts running around the house.  
"Hy-Hyena laugh ?!" Jackson says feigning offense and starts running after Mark.  
When Jackson catches Mark he was tickling him so much Mark couldn't take it anymore, he thought he was going to die.  
"Hmph ! How dare you say I look like a hyena !" Jackson pouted.  
"I didn't say you look like, just your laugh." Mark says after breathing some air and calmed down. "Hey, aren't we going to go out ?" He said with a big smile making Jackson forget that he was upset.  
"Yeah let's go !" Jackson said, holding Mark's hand and heading out in his car.

The ride was... Eventful.  
First, Jackson lost the keys of his car, he couldn't remember where he put it, they searched in the whole house but it was in the inside pocket of his jacket.  
Second, he forgot that he was practically out of gas, so they had to pass by station first which was at the opposite side of the mall.  
Third, he didn't bring his wallet so Mark had to pay for him and Jackson wasn't going to let Mark pay for everything so he begged Mark to go home first so he can take his wallet.  
And four, Mark was laughing so much at Jackson during the drive at the shopping mall, he laughed so much he had difficulties to get out of the car when they arrived and adding a pouting Jackson it definitely wasn't helping.  
They finally got into the shopping mall, Mark was kind of refreshed, it's true that he spent quite a lot of time inside a room, be it at the hospital or at home. He actually missed the sensation of being outside because he loves to hang out alone or with friends and being out there with Jackson seems to be the perfect thing. _Seems_.  
When they entered a sneakers store, Jackson met his 'ex girlfriend'. He was slightly shaking with anger, hands curling into a fist, he never thought he'd meet her _here_ , he hoped to never see her face ever again.  
Mark noticed Jackson's behavior, he didn't understand everything but he knows that Jackson would never get angry for nothing, he wasn't that type of person so he grabbed his hand and starts to caress it lightly making Jackson relax a little at the gesture just to be even more angrier,  
"As I see you didn't change at all, _Jackson._ " the girl said adding fuel to the fire.  
"Don't you dare pronounce my name." He said with a deep growl making everyone around him shiver.  
"You think you're scaring me ? Oh please _dear_." She really knows how to make Jackson angrier.  
"Shut the fuck up bitch." Jackson says and turns to Mark, "We should leave before I murder someone." He said trying to calm down and not scare Mark.  
"Oooh, so he's you're disgusting homo boyfriend ? That's a pity, he's quite handsome." She says making everyone around her uncomfortable.  
Jackson spun around so fast that people thought he would broke his neck or something, "Repeat what you just said ?" Jackson growled deeply again.  
"Don't think I'm afraid of you, I'm not afraid of disgusting homos, they are trash they shouldn't even exist." She blurts out showing nicely how she hates them.  
"Do you really think homos are disgusting ? Aren't you the one who's disgusting, you make me want to throw up. Always trashing around about gay people, seems like you didn't change too." Jackson gripped Mark's hand tighter without noticing. Mark winced at the strong grip.  
"What ? Aren't I right ? Homos are trash and they should just disappear from this world, it's too good for trash like them !" She said looking around to see disgusted face.  
"Seems like you're wrong. Homos are person just like you, like me, like everyone here, they just have different tendencies that's all, you know, insulting them means insulting the world. In the end they are just humans, who said that they can't love another person of the same gender ? Who said it ? Is there a law that forbids it ? And you, who are you to discriminate people like that ?" Everyone around nodded at Jackson's words, "you don't even know what's the meaning of loving someone so don't you dare to insult people who loves people, because of homophobic people like you, some of us, gay people, don't even dare to date the love of their life because they don't want to be persecuted. I'll teach you something, whether you love a girl or a boy, it's still love and it's even purer than between straight people. Now just think that you're lucky to be a girl or else I would have kill you right there." Everyone around clapped at Jackson's beautiful speech, because what he said is true, people who likes the same gender shouldn't be afraid to show themselves, they have all the right to _love_.  
She had nothing to say in return because she doesn't have support, no one would defend her so she ran out of the store cursing everyone.  
Mark was impressed by Jackson's speech, it was so unlike him to be so serious and for him to hate people... She must have did something terrible.  
Mark didn't know what to do and Jackson had kind of brought attention on them even if it's not his fault, so he just clutched on Jackson's jacket and tried to hide behind his muscular built.  
Jackson noticed and felt so sorry for putting Mark into this embarrassing situation, he holds Mark's hand and excused himself from all the people praising him for his speech and left the store going back to his car.  
"Sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..." Jackson broke the quite heavy silence.  
"It's okay, you don't have to be sorry, I just don't like it when there are too much people..." Mark says not looking at Jackson. But Jackson turned his head to his side so they are looking at each other,  
"I know and that's why I'm sorry. Should we go and eat something, I'm treating as an apology." Jackson says making his cutest face.  
"Okay." Mark blushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT FEELS LIKE SHOPPING MAAAAAAAAALL ! /I'm out/


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly about Markson getting together...  
> Enjoy ! :D

Honestly, Mark was weak against Jackson's cute face, he could practically say yes to everything he would ask with that face but what could he do, he didn't ask to love this stupid boy, maybe he was the stupid one, falling twice for the same boy. Mark sighed, no matter how many time he thinks about it, he just can't believe that his heart flutters for the second time in a lifetime for this flawless boy. Maybe that's what they call _fate_.  
"Hey what's wrong ? You look... Depressed ? Tired ? Want to go home instead ?" Jackson asked worried, glancing from time to time.  
"Uh ? No, sorry, just thought about something..." Mark sighed again, having nothing to do, he starts playing with his hands.  
"Hm... Okay, just tell me if anything is wrong." He said flashing a smile, Mark only nodded.

They arrived at a small family restaurant, it was cozy and nice, reminding them home. Even the smell that escapes from the kitchen reminds home, Mark doesn't really remember the last time he ate his mom's cooking and he's really missing it.  
They ordered two plates of Italian pasta with a extra cheese for Jackson.  
"You really like cheese uh ?" Mark said, finding it cute. _"Hey Mark, he just loves cheese, what's cute in that ?!"_  He mentally slapped himself.  
"Yeah ! I think cheese adds something more at the dish !" He smiled his absolutely perfect toothy smile.  
Mark hummed, but the incident earlier immediately came back making him lost his small smile, Jackson noticed and starts, "You know, the girl earlier, I know her since I'm small." Mark was looking at Jackson questioningly, he didn't ask anything but he won't interrupt him, "When my mom was still there, my parents wanted us to get married, at that time we were still kids and we would say yes to anything our parents asked." He paused, "But, it appears that she was a real bitch." His hand curl into a fist again, Mark instinctively holds his hand making the other relax at the touch, he continued, "At that time, we weren't really really close, and I... I started to develop feelings for you that I wasn't aware. I wasn't paying attention to her so when she cheated on me, I wasn't affected at all, but what I call her a bitch for is that, she cheated on him just to try to make me jealous because the people she dated was like super rich and so well built and so on, she was always complaining about my look, saying that I look bad, that I should _die_ for the sake of fashion, even though I didn't care a shit about what I look like but well that's really annoying when you have a person beside you blabbing non stop about how ugly you look." The dishes arrived, they thanked the waiter, "Up to there I was just ignoring her but one day, when she found out that I was crushing on you, she started spouting her hatred against gay people and that's when I practically punched her but well I don't hit girls. And that's also when I totally cut all ties with her, and my father wasn't against, I prayed to never meet her ever again but it seems that life decided to mess up. Sorry..." Jackson said, seeing that Mark finished, he quickly ate his meal, nearly choked.  
"Hey hey don't eat so fast, take your time ! That girl, she seems to be a real bitch uh. I understand your hatred but please calm down, you're going to hurt yourself." Mark said smiling faintly, stroking lightly Jackson's hand.  
"Yeah I know... But today, what she said was even worse than before, she completely lowered gay people and I just couldn't let her spout her nonsense." Jackson says, anger taking him again.  
Mark tightened a little his grip, "Don't let her have you, she is doing this because she still likes you and she just want you to pay attention to her and the only way she found is to annoy you."  
Jackson relaxed, "You're right... I'm better than this." Jackson let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, "How was the pasta ?" Jackson smiled.  
"It was good." Mark smiled.  
They ended up in a comfortable silence, always looking at each other and averting their eyes when they were caught.

After ordering and eating desserts, they decided to get up and head home. The ride was silent and appeasing, after what happened today it was normal, right.  
"Hey Mark, how was today ?" Jackson said broking the silence.  
"I liked it, except the problem with your ex. But it was great, I feel like it's been a long time since I spent some time outside."Mark sighed content.  
"Oh ? You like being outside ?" Jackson asked glancing quickly at Mark.  
"Yeah I love it. With friends or alone, I'm always out, I don't really like being confined at home but of course sometime it's good to stay at home." Mark says while looking through the window, he loves watching the scenery that passes by.  
"Yeah I know what you mean, at home you have nothing to do and you're always bored but when you're outside, just contemplating the sky is fun haha !" Jackson says laughingly.  
"Yeah completely !" Mark laughs too, relaxing, he didn't even know that he was so tensed up.  
"Do you want to play some music ? You can put anything you want." Jackson was kind of curious about the style Mark likes, he knows that he should never judge a book by its cover but honestly when you see him you can just think that he likes calm and appeasing songs.  
Mark thinks a little before putting _Paradise_ because it expresses how he feel right now and what Jackson means to him even if the song were more dedicated to a girl but never mind. He starts the song,  
_You're my paradise~_  
_An ocean view spread before my eyes_  
_And a fashion look that matches it_  
_Whenever I look at you I feel so good_  
_Don't say bye_  
_I don't wanna let you go_  
_Time is precious~_  
Yeah, it totally expresses all the feelings that he can't voice out.  
"Wow, nice lyrics, I like it !" Jackson says humming along with the song.  
"Yeah... You know... This song is..." Mark was cut off because they arrived at his house.  
Jackson parked his car near the house, then they got out of it and entered the house, right before entering Jackson had goosebumps, it was like someone were spying them but he dismissed quickly the feel, maybe he was just being paranoid.

Finally at home, they jumped on the couch and relaxed while hugging each other but the evening was coming to an end and they need to shower, brush their teeth and sleep.  
"Oh yeah Mark what did you want to say about the song ? Oh and what it is called ? Really liked it !" Jackson shouted while brushing his teeth spilling toothpaste everywhere.  
"Hey hey stop talking while brushing ! There's toothpaste everywhere !" Mark, who was in his room got out and went to the bathroom so Jackson won't need to yell. He went to sit on the edge of the tub, "The song is called Paradise and I..." he paused and Jackson was looking at him questioningly with toothpaste all over his face making him really cute. "I love this song because it... It shows well how I feel..." Mark lowered his head embarrassed, playing with his hands.  
"For me ?" Jackson finished after spitting and rinsing out everything. He lowered himself and was now hugging Mark, after leaving a kiss on the older's forehead, he lifted the boy and was heading to the bedroom. He laid down Mark on his bed before installing himself on it beside the older embracing him by the waist.  
"Uh... Yeah..." Mark was blushing until his ears, he tried to hide in the blanket and on Jackson's chest.  
Jackson was laughing, holding Mark tight and stroking his back softly. "Waaah I'm so touched ! You saw me through the lyrics, I think I'm going to love this song and listen to it everyday, every time !" Jackson says overexcited.  
" _You're my paradise~_ " Mark sang against the younger's chest, then he looked up into Jackson's eyes and regrets it the moment he did when he sees the wide smile spreading slowly.  
"OH MY GOD ! YOU'RE MY PARADISE TOO ! I LOVE YOU !" Jackson says kissing Mark _on the lips_ , tightening his grip around Mark's waist.  
Mark shivered, he wasn't really expecting this and for once, he wasn't scared by this freaking strong and tight grip. His arms slowly found their way to the other boy's neck, he pulled Jackson even closer if possible, to him and deepened the kiss even more, wanting to _feel_ the younger.  
They separated due to the lack of air, Mark was flushed and red, ears still red, lips slightly swollen and parted, eyes half closed, body shaking a little. Jackson wasn't better, cheeks red, lips parted and puffy, eyes closed. Mark deepened the kiss and it shocked Jackson so much he was still in a freezing state, he was more expecting to be pushed away a little because of what happened.....but he wasn't complaining though.  
"Hey Mark, I wondered..." He paused, caressing softly Mark's hair.  
"Um ?" Mark hummed, liking the hand in his hair.  
"Would you like to go out with me ?" Jackson asked looking at the ceiling, still caressing the other's hair.  
Mark rose his head, changing his posture, looking at Jackson with wide eyes as if he saw Jackson for the first time in his life. (In his bed and half naked of course, that's not given to anyone!) "Wh-What ?" That's all Mark managed to blurt out.  
"Would you like us to go out together and... Hugs, hold hands, go on dates, kiss each other, have fun while preparing dinner and so much more." Jackson said with a warm smile, eyes closed as if he was imagining everything in his head.  
"Uh ? But aren't we already doing all this ?" Mark said, a soft red spreading all over his face, he tried again to hide with the blanket having so little success because Jackson was getting up and pulled the blanket with him leaving a blushing Mark on his own to hide his embarrassment.  
"So does it mean that..." Jackson can't contain the cracking, due to the excitement, in his voice, "we're together ??" If Jackson was a real puppy, there would be a tail wagging behind him.  
"Of course you idiot ! Now come back on bed I'm cold !" Mark turned around so Jackson would be unable to see his face but it didn't matter to Jackson, all he was doing was jumping and shouting "YES !!! OH MY YES !!!" then he started to thank all the gods he knows for letting him have Mark, the so precious Mark Tuan.  
"Stop it now and come back here I'm seriously cold !" Yeah, Mark was cold because it misses Jackson's heat.  
"Oh yeah sorry ! I would feel so bad if you got sick because of my stupidity !" He ran back to bed and put the blanket on both of them, making sure that Mark won't catch a cold.  
"Hey hey calm down the excitement, how are you gonna sleep ?" Mark asks laughing and hugging Jackson who hugged back.  
"Well, I'll just look at your sleeping face and try to sleep... Whoops that was supposed to stay a secret..." Jackson pretends to have let out a BIG secret when in fact it was nothing but Mark have to admit that's kind of creepy but doesn't think about it anymore, too tired to think.  
"Uh... Creepy but well good night." He yawned and dozed off.  
"You're quick to fall asleep uh so tired ?" Jackson says while kissing Mark's hair, "Good night dear." while kissing Mark's forehead.

The next day, as usual, Jackson woke up before Mark and he decided to prepare something to eat and he didn't know what to do so he'll improvise. He got up, washed his face, brushed his teeth and was heading to the kitchen when the doorbell rang, he wanted to pretend like he didn't hear but the one behind the door was fucking persistent. Jackson groaned and opened the door and he regrets immediately,  
"Why the fuck are you here ?" He tried to stay polite but he failed.  
"Is this how you to talk to someone ?" The person said with sarcasm.  
"With people like you, yes. Get the fuck out of there and don't ever show yourself in front of me." Jackson growled deeply, losing his temper.  
Seems like Jackson talk a little too loud, or maybe that's because this fucking person was too persistent with the doorbell, Mark got up and was walking toward where the ruckus is,  
"Jacks, what's wrong ? Who's there ?" Mark said, rubbing his eyes and still half asleep with his crumpled oversized shirt which is too big and long, it showed one of his shoulder and the length was around the middle of his thigh, _"He's so fucking sexy ! It shouldn't be allowed !"_  Jackson slapped himself because there was someone who shouldn't be there and is fucking ruining the moment.  
"Trying to be the sexy boy uh ?" The other said whistling making the younger's anger boil even more.  
"Can you get your fucking ass out of there and leave us, please ?" Jackson needs to punch something, and if that person doesn't move, then he won't bear the aftermath.  
"Uh ? You ?..." Mark's eyes went wide, he wasn't expecting this person, so early and _here_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU'RE MY PARAAAAAAAADISE ~ /I'm 2out/  
> I really liked all their songs in this album ! *^* And thanks to people who translated the lyrics !


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ! :D

"Yes, me." That person says.  
It was Jackson's "ex" if he can still call her like that, what was she doing coming here when the younger doesn't even want to mention her name ? She's surely crazy. But it seems that her mind is set, she has something to say and do and she will achieve it no matter what.  
"I came here because I need to talk to you Jackson, in private." It sounded like an order and Jackson groaned.  
"We have nothing to say, now leave." That's the first polite thing Jackson said and he's surprised himself.  
"We. Have. To. Talk." She bumped into Jackson and made her way to the couch in the living room. Jackson nearly grabbed her wrist and threw her out but he was stopped by Mark who whispered that it was okay, they have to talk and resolve their problems, he will be in the kitchen if he needs something just call. Mark was too kind to him and _her_.  
Mark went to the kitchen and Jackson went to take a sit as far as possible from that girl.  
"What do you want." He grunted.  
"I..." She blushed startling Jackson, it's the first time he sees her blushing. He raised an eyebrow really suspicious of what's going to happen. He has a bad feeling, really bad. "I still like you, you know, please, is there a way for us to... Be together again ?..." She asked, head lowered.  
Jackson was taken aback, he wasn't expecting this and his bad feeling from earlier was true. After everything she said and done, she doesn't even apologize, no it's just I want us to be together again ? What shit is this ? Does she really think that Jackson is that stupid ?  
"I don't have any feelings for you and I think that you know I never had. I would like to remind you that you hate homosexuals and I am, so there is no way for us." Jackson said calmly, containing well his anger.  
"Oh come on ! Stop with that crap ! I know you're absolutely not homo ! Is it because of this boy ?" She points in the kitchen, "What good does he have ? Beside a good face there is nothing else, you shouldn't lower yourself to people like him !" She yells not minding that Mark hears everything.  
Jackson slammed the table, scaring the only girl here. "Don't you dare talk about Mark like this." He growled so deeply, it sounded like an animal ready to eat you alive, "This boy like you said is my everything, of course he's good looking and sexy as hell but he also has a so pure and too kind heart, he doesn't judge and he's tolerant, he's always ready to help other people even people like you. He knows when to be serious and when to joke, he has a peaceful aura making everyone around him comfortable and not like you, he doesn't discriminate anyone. Just because you like someone doesn't give you the right to insult other people. Don't you ever talk about Mark, you don't and will never know him, you know nothing about this perfect being, from looks to personality." Jackson said with dark eyes, voice deep making sure to convey to her that she just had to pronounce a bad word about his Mark and she's dead meat.  
But it seems that she didn't understand that, "You're crazy Jackson ! He's only good for his looks ! Inside he's absolutely the type of person who plays and manipulates someone by their feelings ! He's like a witch and you just fell in his trap ! Wake up you idiot !" She yells again, not seeing the danger in front of her eyes.  
Jackson slammed the table again, he was approaching her like a predator on his prey ready to tear it in a thousand pieces, he just raised an arm that Mark came back stopping him,  
"Are you crazy ?! What were you going to do ? Even if she's really annoying she's still a girl !" Mark shouts stopping Jackson from hitting the girl.  
"Mark please, let me have her, I can't support her anymore." His eyes were full of anger that's been building from what seems to be a long time ago.  
"Please Jackson calm down, even if you hit her, did you thought about the aftermath ?" Mark was desperate, if he can't appease Jackson right now, he doesn't want to think what could happen.  
Jackson looked into Mark dark brown eyes, seeing fear in it, he calmed down, he doesn't want to scare Mark, not after finally having him.  
"I'm sorry Mark." He says with a soft smile, caressing his cheek with his hand, completely forgetting her presence.  
"Don't let anger get you." Mark says hugging Jackson tightly, also forgetting her presence.  
"Yeah." He turned a little to look at her, "See, even with how bad you talked about him, he still doesn't hate you or talk back because he's higher than that and because he's really too kind. You know, I don't think I'm worth him, he's too perfect, so don't ever dare to talk about him like he's a trash." Jackson said, softening his look and relaxed his body that he didn't know was so tensed. "We're over, you never loved me and I never loved you, that's all _we_ need to know. Now please, let me enjoy my life and I hope you to enjoy yours with the one who will make your heart beat." He said with a wide toothy smile, he closed the book and is ready to open a new one.  
She doesn't say anything, she ran out of the house and slammed the door before leaving.

Once all alone and after some more cuddles, they decided to get something to eat and then head out. Mark wanted to try to go back at the college, after all he is still a college student and he had to pass all the exams if he wants to become what he wants to and it's been near two months since he didn't go to school, well the doctor said that he should rest at least four months but Mark is already tired of resting, he needs to move, _to dance_.  
Jackson wasn't really sure if it was a good idea to return back there because it seems that Mark isn't highly appreciated -from Jinyoung- and that's, of course, because of him but now that they are together, he'll protect him from everything, absolutely _everything_  even if he is against the whole world he will still draw his sword and protect his precious one.  
They ate a quick but nutritious breakfast and headed out to Jackson's car then to the college.  
To be honest, Mark was really, really nervous, he's afraid that once there it will trigger a crisis, even without being there he still have some crisis so being there he will absolutely run home, if he can still run. But he wants to try it, he doesn't want to run away from his fears and the best way to get rid of it is to confront them, and Jackson will be there with him so everything's alright.  
They arrived at the college in just three minutes. The uni wasn't so far from Mark's house, it is just ten minutes so the car wasn't really needed but well if Jackson insists what else can he do ?  
They arrived on time for their literature class, the only class they have together... _"Oh my god, we won't stay together all day, how can I forget that we aren't in the same class ?!"_  Mark thought, starting to shake a little more. Jackson noticed and took Mark's hand in his, whispering to him, "Don't worry, I'll stay with you all day." with a wide smile.  
How will Jackson stay with him since they aren't in the same class, Mark didn't know and didn't really care, he just needs and wants Jackson right beside him.  
When they entered the uni, all the eyes were on them and this time they weren't glaring at Mark, they were too shocked to be able to stab him with their eyes. Jackson, as always, saw and felt those strong eyes on the boy beside him so he took his hand and was pulling him as he started to walk toward their classroom not minding at all the look they were having. He knows that it make Mark uncomfortable all those looks but he needs to get through of it and accept all these eyes because he is going to receive so much more, _"I should be careful, someone may steal him from me."_  he thought whistling and gripping tighter the small hand in his.  
They arrived at their classroom ten minutes earlier so they just spent it talking, Jackson making Mark forgets all the eyes and the whispering behind him. Five minutes before the class starts, Jaebum arrives and was also shocked to see them together but contrary to the other, he smiled his warm fatherly smile and approached closer the two lovebirds startling Mark who was sit back to the board,  
"Hey you two." He said hitting Jackson on the shoulder and held out his hand for Mark to shake, "It's been a moment since I saw you." He laughed looking at the both of them.  
"Hey ! What was the hit for ?!" Jackson whined trying to get an apology from Jaebum who dismissed it.  
"So Mark, you good ?" Jaebum says ignoring Jackson's whining.  
"Uh... I'm-I'm good and you ?" Mark says embarrassed, it's been too long since he last spoke with someone beside Jackson, even his own friends didn't call or Mark didn't call them because they know very well what Mark needs.  
"I'm good too, you know you two look like two lovebirds, it's cute." Jaebum says laughing as it made the both of them blush furiously and it was just cuter.  
"Uh... Hey Jae, you know we..." He stopped, looking at Mark for his agreement who nodded back, "We're... Dating." He said it as if it was the secret of century.  
Jaebum looked shocked for the second time today, he wasn't shocked because they are dating, no, he was shocked because they look so shy about it ! "Hey Jackson, why are you so shy ? Didn't you chase after Mark just so you can date him ?" Jaebum just can't believe it.  
"Uh ? Chase me ?" Oh, Mark seems to wake up.  
Jackson blushed furiously and punched Jaebum's arm, "Yeah- No- It's- Well..." Jackson was stumbling with his words.  
"Yeah, you know he's from Hong Kong right and he chased you until here, LA, just so he could ask you out and be with you, he's a lost puppy without his master." Jaebum was openly making fun of Jackson but what he says is true, real true.  
Mark was blushing. Jackson was as red as a tomato. Jaebum was laughing so much he had to hold his stomach. Other students were looking at them oddly. The teacher arrives and starts the lesson.  
The lesson went rather well, everyone was focused on what the teacher was saying which surprised the teacher because usually no one is listening but she won't complain of course. Just from time to time, Mark felt glares on his back but he dismissed it, himself too focused on the hand that's caressing and holding his tightly.  
The lesson finally ended, they were finally free, free to eat their lunch which was bought at the store nearby.  
"Oh yeah Mark, I don't know if Jinyoung told you or not but we're also dating." Jaebum says between two bites of his chicken sandwich, not ashamed at all.  
"Oh really ? I didn't know, it's been a long time since I spoke to someone else beside Jackson." Mark says raising his head from his own ham sandwich.  
"Well... It's kind of strange, you could say it was love at first sight but it's Jinyoung uh." Jaebum says awkwardly grimacing.  
"Haha ! Yeah I know, Jinyoungie is... Well, hard to handle if you want." He says laughing, "I always thought that the one he's going to date will suffer a lot, and it seems that you are going to suffer Jaebum." Mark says with a soft smile.  
"Yeah... I know what you mean, he's worse than a girl god !" Jaebum sighed, seemingly really annoyed.  
Mark secretly chuckled, "Don't give up Jaebum, he's annoying on the outside but inside he's totally sweet." Mark tapped Jaebum's shoulder giving him a 'don't worry it's gonna be alright' look.  
They finished quickly the lunch and of course there were still people staring and glaring at them, Jaebum got seriously annoyed, he stood up and yelled,  
"Hey what's wrong with you ?! Since they arrived you're staring at them what's you're fucking problems ?!" Everyone got scared and went back to their own business, of course they are scared, they all know Jaebum's strength. During the short period when Jackson wasn't here, people started to badmouth him saying that he was good for nothing and that he has his popularity just because he looks good and is wealthy, Jaebum heard them and he won't let people talking about his best friend like this especially when people were friends with him just because of his money and looks. Then, he nearly jumped on those people and imposed his rules by force. Rules were simple, no bad talking about Jackson nor Mark nor himself and if they are caught again, Jaebum won't let them live peacefully, he also broke a table and a door by the way.  
"Hey Jae calm down, what's wrong ?" Jackson eases Jaebum's bubbling anger.   
"Nothing, everything is good." He relaxed his tensed shoulders and proposed to the lovebirds to go for a walk so he can ask for advices on how to handle Jinyoung and maybe tease them a little more.  
After the walk they had to return to class, since Jaebum had classes in other buildings, they separated and maybe meet later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to give the girl a name but I didn't know which name so... No name xD It's okay if you hate her c:  
> I don't know why I kind of thought JB as a yakuza... xD


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter ! I think I'm not made for writing stories, I got lost in the middle and repeated myself a lot because I didn't read the previous chapters xD But I still want to write so I'll continue, bear with my poor writing quality :p  
> Enjoy ! :D

After all the obligatory lessons ended nicely with Jackson's presence always near Mark, it was time for the hardest part of the day, _dance class_. They arrived at the practice room but Mark is too afraid to go in.  
Before, this room was like his secret garden, where no one really come and he was always alone in there. It was where he could release all the stress, the tensions that built up through the day but today it had become the place of his nightmare, of his deepest fears. It was the place that became the worst part of his life, that eats him without mercy, that nearly broke his mind.  
He felt a squeeze on his shoulder, waking him from his thoughts.  
"It's okay if you don't want to go, we can still come and try tomorrow." Jackson gave a faint smile, he was also hurt to see Mark in this state, unable to go to the place where felt the most safe.  
"Oh my... Mark hyung !!" A boy shouted from afar and was now running toward them. Once arrived he jumped on Mark hugging him tight, he seems really excited, he was talking fast, rambling everything in a minute.  
"Yugyeommie, you speak too fast I don't understand a thing." Mark said caressing the taller's back, encouraging him to pause a little and breath.  
"Oh sorry hyung ! But it's been such a long time since I last saw you ! I missed you !" Yugyeom said trying to make a cute face but he wasn't good at it.  
Mark smiled fondly, he missed the younger too, "I missed you too Yugyeommie but please breath or else you're going to die." Mark laughed.  
Jackson was beside them, looking at them with a soft smile, he was really happy that Mark had such good friends, this boy was really blessed by gods and he totally deserves it.  
"Oh Jackson hyung I'm sorry I didn't see you, hello !" Yugyeom said waving at the other with the innocent smile of a kid.  
"Hey Yugyeom, doing good ?" Jackson smiled, just like a brother.  
"Yeah ! Oh my god so happy to see you hyung ! Oh and by the way, are you two dating ?" Yugyeom asked innocently, he didn't intend to make both of them embarrassed.  
"Ye-Yeah how do you know ? Are we that obvious ?" Jackson asked, a red spreading all over his face when Mark is unable to detach his eyes from his feet.  
"Well... I don't know, I'd say that you kind of have this aura around you ?" He said tilting his head to the left showing that he's confused too. "But I'm happy that hyungs are together !" Yugyeom said beamingly.  
The hyungs were blushing quite hard and really embarrassed by what seems to be their obviousness. But the younger caught their attention again, "Hyung, are you going to... You're ready to go _inside_  ?..." Yugyeom was kind of afraid to say this, reminding the older bad memories.  
Mark, looked at the door and sighed, "Yeah, I am. Well I think. But you both are there for me right ?" He looked at the both of them who only nodded back.  
He opened the door shakily with closed eyes afraid that he will back out at the last minute, he heard Yugyeom telling him that he can move forward, there were nothing on the way, then he moved, he shakes a little more but it was okay, he kept reminding himself that Yugyeom was here, that _Jackson_ was here. This time he isn't alone, no one will attack him out of the blue. They won't let others attack him, he will be safe, he will...  
Once he opened his eyes and saw the room, he immediately fell on the floor. He was crying, shaking, no sound coming from his mouth, he felt like _dying_.  
The sensation was even worse than the small crisis he had before, it was like he was living the moment again, feeling the pain, the suffocation, the confinement, he was being trapped in the hands of stronger people, unable to move, unable to shout or even able to make a sound. He was deprived of his freedom.  
As soon as Mark fell, Jackson and Yugyeom ran to him trying to calm the older boy but without much success. It was to be expected, how can someone be good while entering the place where it hides his deepest scares that left scars all over his soul ? No one can.  
Mark just couldn't calm down, he was curled up, shaking, crying, rejecting Jackson and Yugyeom, all the memories coming back in just a second, even Jackson couldn't force a hug out of Mark. But they just can't see Mark in this state and do nothing to help him, so Jackson came up with this idea, Yugyeom will hold Mark's arms and Jackson will try to reason him. He knows that this will bring back even more frightening memories but it's the only way for Mark to _come back_. Once Mark was held still, as expected he was crying even more, his voice suddenly came back and was now shouting with a very high pitch, deafening their ears but they weren't to give up, they needed to _save_  him.  
Jackson grabbed the older's head in a firm grip, the older had his eyes closed, red and puffed from all the crying.  
"Mark, open your eyes, please look, it's me Jackson." Jackson tries as soft as possible, not working.  
"MARK, OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES !" Jackson shouted making effectively the other open his eyes and Jackson's heart broke, seeing so much fright, so much pain, so much hurt, so much hope, hope that someone will come and wake him from this nightmare. "Look at me, it's me Jackson, your Jackson..." He had difficulty saying a word because seeing his precious Mark in this state was way too heartbreaking. "It's me... It's me..." He says placing his forehead on Mark's but the older was still in his nightmare and shouted loudly, multiplying the tears, eyes shut tight again, struggling in Yugyeom's grip.  
Jackson sighed, he wanted to cry, he really doesn't know what to do, Yugyeom was slowly getting tired and Mark's struggles wasn't helping.  
"J-Jacks.... Please... He-Help me... Whe-Where are y-you ? ..." Mark managed between his sobs, his shouts, his tears.  
Jackson raised his head so fast it may have fallen, "MARK ! MARK ! I'M RIGHT HERE ! IF YOU HEAR ME PLEASE LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY !" Jackson screamed trying to get into Mark's mind, yes it was strange but it may be effective. "MARK ! FORGET ABOUT THEM ! FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING ! JUST THINK ABOUT YOU AND ME, TOGETHER, HOLDING HANDS, LOOKING AT EACH OTHER !" He was desperate, anything would work, but when he tried to grabbed Mark's head again, Yugyeom had no energy left and Mark got _free_ , he shouted something incomprehensible and slowly calmed down.  
Mark was slowly catching his breath, tears well still flowing a little, his face was completely flushed, eyes red and puffy, nose red and sniffing, lips red and swollen, even his neck was red.  
When Jackson and Yugyeom came to check on him, without touching him, they saw that Mark fell asleep. It's totally normal, crying so much has exhausted him.

Jackson carried Mark home after assuring to the youngest that he will be okay, and maybe forever okay since this crisis was worse than what he had before, maybe he overcame it or maybe not but Jackson will always be here to help him. After trying to reassure the little but tall boy around thirty minutes, he finally reached his car and home.  
He placed Mark in his bed, after washing his face and changed his clothes, he put the blanket on him and held his hand. He thought of preparing something for him when he wake up but when Mark squeezed his hand, he just couldn't get up.  
"My precious Mark, don't worry, everything will be alright." He said, kissing Mark's forehead before sitting on the floor, hand in Mark's hand.  
For once, Mark woke up before Jackson.  
He saw the younger sat on the floor, holding tightly his hand, he blushed a little because he wasn't used to this yet. Used to see this strong, young and flawless boy here, just beside him, holding him like he was made of glass, protecting him like it's his own life and loving him more than anything else. Mark was really endeared by the view, he accidentally squeezed Jackson's hand to hard waking up the latter.  
"Oh, hey, up ?" Jackson said rubbing his eyes and getting up to sit on the edge of the bed, ruffling the other's hair.  
"Yeah, before you, that's rare." Mark said softly, giving in in the caress.  
"Yeah, really rare, hey you hungry ?" Jackson asked still massaging Mark's scalp, seeing that it had a good effect on the older.  
"Not really... Beside, I wanted to thank you." Mark said taking the hand in his hair in his hand, looking at it tenderly.  
"What are you thanking me for ?" Jackson asked laughing a little, but seeing Mark's serious face he stopped and lets Mark speak his mind.  
"I want to thank you because you helped me." Mark paused, squeezing a little Jackson's hand, "You helped me getting out of this nightmare, of this living hell, I don't know what I would have become if you weren't here, I don't know if I would still be here without you..." He closed his eyes, "I was in the depths of the abyss, everything was dark around me, all I could feel was pain and my mind was tearing apart from my body. But then suddenly, a light was shining, it was far away but I could still see it and _feel_ , it was warm and it was enveloping me in a safe embrace. Then I heard your voice calling me, telling me to forget everything and to think about our future together. I started to have pictures flashing right before my eyes, these pictures were from the months we spent together, so much fun, good, warm, endearing memories in such a small amount of time. You really don't know how much you... _Saved me_ , maybe you don't understand but thank you..." Mark opened his eyes, seeing a Jackson between sadness and happiness. He pinched Jackson's cheeks making the younger cry, Mark was surprised he didn't know why the younger was crying, he didn't pinch that hard to the point to make such a strong boy cry and even if he wanted he couldn't in his state.  
"Hey hey, why are you crying ?" Mark was worried, did he say or did something he shouldn't have ?  
Jackson sobbed a little more before saying, "I-I'm not crying..." He sniffed, "It's just... How can I say it... I'm just so happy... So happy that I could help you, so happy that even if I die tomorrow I would be okay but of course I won't die tomorrow uh." He wiped away his tears and looked straight into Mark's eyes making the other jump a little in a surprise, the look Jackson had was full of determination and love, it was quite strange. "I wanted to wait the moment you'll tell me what happened that day but it seems that I can't hide it to you anymore, it's been a moment that I know what had happened and I took care of it already. Why am I telling you that ? It's because you said I was like a light that rescued you from the abyss, and saying that I... I'm not a light, the opposite, you were on a beautiful, shining land where everything was perfect until I arrived and pulled you on a hellish land where everything is pain and hurt. I don't even know why you accepted to go out with me... With everything you went through and you still want me beside you ? I just don't understand, you know, I was ready to give up everything and just go back to HK and take over my father's company but when you said yes, my mind went blank and since then I was always asking myself why would you accept someone who hurt you so much ? ... Why ?" Mark's eyes couldn't get wider at the end of the other's speech, so Jackson knew everything already and he never said a thing so it won't hurt him ? But why Jackson's eyes are in pain ? Where does this pain comes from ? It doesn't suit his pretty eyes.  
"Why ? Because, I don't know." Mark was looking at the ceiling, "How can I answer your question ? You know my heart just go the way it wants, I doesn't really control it moreover I don't want to control it. I don't like people that just function with only their mind, they will achieve big things but they will never be satisfied and they won't hesitate to hurt people to have what they want and that's not good. Since you already made a confession, it's my turn." He looked back in Jackson's confused eyes, "I fell twice in love with you." It was just a whisper but Jackson clearly heard it. Mark was blushing, Jackson was stunned.  
Jackson nearly jumped because of the excitement, but he contained himself, "Y-You fell twice for me ?... Really ?" Jackson was having a hard time to believe what was happening, so it means that before Mark lost his memories and that Jackson was shut in his father's company, he already had feelings for him... _"OH MY PRECIOUS GOD !"_  
"Yeah, I fell twice for a stupid head like you !" Mark said laying back in bed, covering his red head.  
"YAAAAAAAH !!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT !!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!" Jackson screamed, kissing Mark through the blanket.

Both of them eventually got hungry, so they got up from the bed and went to prepare something to eat. They were preparing the meal silently but it was a comfortable silence, Jackson had this smile to his ears and Mark was just blushing and from time to time he looked at Jackson, seeing his stupid smile made something twist in his stomach.  
When everything was good, they went to eat in the living room, on the couch, watching but not really watching a film. They finished quickly, they decided to let the washing up for later and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere.  
They were curled up together, Mark's legs over Jackson's, his head on the younger's chest, his hands were playing with their shirts. Jackson's head was on Mark's, his right hand on the older's back stroking it and the left one massaging the other's thigh.  
They were both so content with their life, everything was absolutely perfect, then suddenly a thought crossed both their minds,  
 _"What did I do to deserve this ? To deserve him and this happiness ?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one is a bonus, if you want to read then read if you don't want it's okay, the story ends here. :3  
> Let me know what you thought/felt about this story. :D


	14. Wedding day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Markson getting married ~ and my second attempt at writing smut...  
> Enjoy ! :D

It's been fourteen years that Mark and Jackson know each other.  
It's been seven years since they are dating.  
It's been five years that they graduated from their college.  
It's been two years since Mark became a dance teacher.  
It's been a year since Jackson is part of the national fencing team (not as a junior fencer!).

Mark and Jackson are living together in both HK and LA. Half half, they live six months in LA and six months in HK so it's fair for both of them and so they can see each other's parents as often as they want.  
It's been seven years that Jackson and Mark are dating and it may be the time to settle down for good. Of course Jackson wanted to propose to Mark in an original way but it didn't really went as wanted... The day Jackson decided to propose was raining so they couldn't do what he wanted, it was reported.  
The next time he wanted to propose, Jackson couldn't make it because he had a tournament in France and he needs to train and get there two days earlier.  
When he could finally propose, everything was perfect, except the fact that the waitress stumble on something and throw hot meals on Jackson's head, the fact that there were dogs barking when he proposed and the fact that the fireworks wasn't on time. Except those things, everything went smoothly, Mark was laughing a lot, it's good, right.  
Both of their parents agreed to their marriage, what could they say when they love each other's son. Mama Tuan even said that she knew that their sons will get married and she was the most excited about it, she was jumping everywhere, telling everyone that was passing by and if they dare to ask a question she will starts to tell them everything, from when they were small to now. Naturally, she proposed to help for the preparations of the wedding because leaving two boys with no experience in marriage would be a total mess.

Today is the day of their marriage, the day they will seal their union together vowing to stay with each other until forever and even after death.  
It was supposed to be the best day of their whole life but it turned to be the messier one, it was worse than the day Jackson proposed. Somehow there were traffic problems and no one could make it on time, even both of their parents who were supposed to be there earlier called them to tell them that it was impossible to move. So, of course, all the things they prepared couldn't come in time.  
Jackson was sitting, looking at the sky and Mark was pacing on the grass in circle.  
"Mark stop walking, you're going pierce the floor." Jackson said finally waking up.  
"The day is a total mess ! Practically nothing is ready ! I'm too stressed to do nothing !" Mark was nearly shouting due to the stress.  
Jackson got up and sat down his soon-to-be husband, "Calm down, it's not like they won't come, there are just problems on the road that's all. Once they're here we can prepare everything quickly." It was hard to be calm in these moments but one of them have to be calm.  
"I know... But what if it's just excuses because they doesn't want to come ?" In these situation Mark can just imagine the worst scenario.  
"Hey hey hey, people we invited are all close or really close, they won't do this to us and don't tell me that even our parents lied to us ?" Jackson smiled softly, massaging Mark's shoulder relaxing the other.  
"Yeah you're right, I'm sorry..." Mark said finally relaxing thanks to Jackson's massage.  
"Jackson ! Mark baby ! I'm so sorry we're so late !" Mama Tuan arrived running and nearly fell because running with high heels is a big challenge, hopefully Mark got up and caught her mother in the process.  
"Mom ! You shouldn't run with high heels !" Mark wanted to scold his mother for that but seeing her and their fathers made the ball of nerve in his stomach disappear, it was okay if their friends don't make it, at least their parents are here.  
"I know I know but we're so late, we have... An hour late ! Oh my ! Please guys make it quick I'm so sorry we're stressing you !" Mama Tuan's breath was fast due to the run and she was also speaking and ordering too fast. The photograph and other people said it was nothing and normal and that they are sorry for being late.  
"Mom calm down we're okay, no one is here yet." Mark said giving his softest smile to her beautiful mother. Yes, she was beautiful in her long light pink dress, it was decorated with large and transparent white flowers on the bottom of the dress, the sleeves were also in light pink color and transparents. She was just so beautiful in her dress and with a natural make up and her hair down with small loops on the bottom, the most beautiful person Mark has seen until now. His father wasn't so bad either, with a black suit, black shoes and his gray hair tied in a ponytail and his smile that always melt Mark's little heart.  
"Mom, dad, you're so beautiful..." Mark said having tears around the corner of his eyes.  
"That's why they gave me the most beautiful husband in the world." Jackson said holding Mark on his shoulder and smiling at their parents, "Not bad dad, you're always so handsome uh." He said looking at his father giving his best smile.   
"Hey ! Not as handsome as you." Jackson's father smiled opening his arms to give his soon-to-get-married son a warm hug. Jackson was also having tears around the corners of his eyes.  
While they were talking and hugging, Kain arrived first, "Oh my am I arriving at the wrong time ?" He said clearing his throat.  
"Kain ! Good to see you !" Jackson said nearly jumping in Kain's arms.  
"Hey hey don't come jumping on me like that ! You may not be aware but you've become heavier !" Kain said, catching and hugging Jackson tightly.  
"I've become heavier ?!" Jackson said feigning offense, placing a hand on his heart.  
"Stop being such a drama queen !" Kain said ruffling Jackson's hair, "Look who's with me." As soon as Kain moved aside, a little girl jumped on Jackson making the latter fall in surprise.  
"Uncle Jackson is soooooooo handsome !!! Daddy !! I want to marry him !!" A little girl shouted in a high pitch tone, really happy and quite strong for her size.  
"Come on Ely, uncle Jackson is going to get married with uncle Mark today." Kain laughed taking Ely in his arms and pointed at Mark showing that he was the one that uncle Jackson is going to marry.  
"Waaaaaaaaaaah !!!! He's sooo handsome !! Daddy I want to marry him !!" Ely shouted again making her parents sigh but smile, she's so young and she already wants to get married.  
Mark came and pat Ely's head, "Ely right ?" The girl nodded, "I'm sorry but neither you can marry me or uncle Jackson," he took Jackson's hand and helped him getting up, "because we are getting married." He said with a proud but sad smile, he doesn't want to say this to such a small girl, the look that the girl had was heartbreaking, she was sad, it looked like she wanted to cry but instead she raised her head and said with the wildest smile Mark ever seen in his life, "Annnnw !! Uncle Jackson and uncle Mark are already together then I will have to find someone as handsome !!!". That little girl was truly amazing, she was way too understanding for her age, she will surely do big things in the near future.

They wanted to talk a little more but guests were starting to arrive and it would be impolite to ignore them, so they just told Kain and his family where to sit and starts welcoming and thanking all the guests even though they were all really close friends or family.  
"Yooo Jackson finally married uh !" Jaebum shouted nudging Jackson on his arm.  
"Y-Yeah..." Jackson suddenly became so shy about it and Mark was blushing beside the other, "Hey ! When's your and Jinyoung's wedding uh ??" Jackson turned the table and attacked Jaebum and made both Jaebum and Jinyoung blush.  
"Stop it and just tell us where to sit." Embarrassed Jaebum was absolutely the cutest, not as cute as his soon-to-be husband though !  
Then arrived Yugyeom who wasn't alone, with a pretty cute little boy, "Oh my, Yugyeom-ah ! Who's he ??" Mark asked eager to know who is the one accompanying him.  
"Uh... He's my boyfriend." Yugyeom said blushing, looking at his feet like it was the most fascinating thing.  
"Yugyeom-ah, don't feel shy, I'm so happy for you ! I was expecting someone incredible beside you but not someone beyond that !" Mark said smiling his brotherly smile that is only for Yugyeom who was not much younger but enough for Mark to have this strong brother side and made the boyfriend blush.  
"Even more incredible than Jackson hyung ?" Yugyeom dared to ask, all embarrassment suddenly disappeared.  
"Don't push it too far kid." Jackson stepped in, saving his precious baby.  
"Heeeeeee hyung ! Don't you want to know ?" Yugyeom whined making everyone laugh, even his boyfriend who was stroking Yugyeom's back in comfort.  
Mark pinched both Yugyeom's cheeks and said, "No one will ever be more incredible than my Jackson." The four persons here all laughing at Yugyeom's pouting face, they could talk a lot more but they still have guests.  
They continued to welcome the guests until the last one.  
When they finished, everything was ready, Jackson walked past the alley which was made by white flowered pillars and covered in bright and beautiful flowers, he arrived in front of his father, Mark's father and Mark's mother who were smiling and holding a dark red cushion with two silver rings on it.  
Jackson smiled and bowed at them before turning around to see his really-soon-to-be husband holding Jinyoung and Yugyeom's arm, they were accompanying the groom instead of the parents. Why them ? Because they are Mark's most trusted persons.  
Jackson and Mark made eye contact and couldn't contain a smile that automatically came at their lips when they see each other.  
Jackson made a step toward Mark, and Mark started to walk toward his husband and his family, going through the alley with people watching him with their warmest smile and his two best best friends who are always there for him even in this precious moment.  
When Mark arrived in front of Jackson, Jinyoung and Yugyeom left Mark side to stand beside the newlyweds parents before they start to speak.  
Mark and Jackson stared at each other for a while, lost in their own world before someone cleared his throat drawing the two lovebirds attention.  
"Jackson Wang, do you want to take Mark Tuan as your husband ?" Papa Wang said, looking proudly at his son with his softest eyes.  
"Yes I want, I promise to love you, you and only you forever. I will cheer you in your hard times, I will be your support, your pillar when things are too difficult by yourself, I will always be there when you need me and even when you don't, I will always make you laugh and happy because it's the best thing to hear and to see in the world. I promise my feelings will never waver in the near or far future, it will never, no matter how much you grow old, how much the outside world is beautiful, my home and only home is the one I'm sharing with you. You're unique and irreplaceable, I want you and only you in my life forever. I love you Mark Tuan." Jackson answered with so much conviction that everyone here had goosebumps, because everything he said, only a little really do it. But the look in his eyes tells everything, he will never break his promises, even if the world around him fall, he will still keep _all_  the promises.  
Since everyone was open-mouthed, Tuan parents decided to continue with their precious baby, "Mark Tuan, do you want to take Jackson Wang here as your husband ?" Tuan parents said, Mark's mother had tears at the corner of her eyes, his father had such a proud and soft look which always made Mark proud to be their son.  
"Yes I want. Jackson Wang, you're everything I need, you don't need to promise anything because you supported me in my hard moments, you always cheered me, being with you always made me happy even when I cried it was tears of joy. I can't believe that today arrived for real, you were a star in the sky and I was just someone who looked up and tried to catch you in the void air. You don't know how grateful I am to be with you every single day, I just want to say one thing, I promise that I will never leave you and always love you. I love you Jackson Wang." Mark's speech was beautiful, it made some family member cry a little, Mark fought for his star and this star is now his.  
Mama Tuan was crying and wiping her tears, Papa Tuan was keeping his tears and applauded like everyone, Papa Wang also kept his tears and clapped, looking at his two sons, _two precious sons_.  
Unexpectedly, it wasn't the newlyweds parents that gave the rings, it was Mark and Jackson's best friends, Jinyoung, Jaebum and Yugyeom. Parents were the ones who told them to be there to give the rings, because they thought that they weren't present enough in their life and that the ones who supported them the most was their best friends. The three friends refused the offer because no matter what it should be the parents who have to give rings but they insisted and they weren't going to make a ruckus for that.  
Jaebum gave Jackson Mark's ring, Jackson took Mark's hand and put the ring on his finger, admiring this beautiful hand in his, so small and soft.  
Jinyoung and Yugyeom both gave Mark Jackson's ring, Mark took Jackson's hand and put the ring on his finger, squeezing the pretty hand in his, so big and strong.  
Then, they sealed their promises and wishes with a deep and long kiss, conveying all the unspoken things that couldn't be put in words.  
They continued with the buffet, all the families and friends were congratulating them for their beautiful and touching wedding, hoping them all the best and only the best because they are just perfect for each other.  
An end has to come, it was around ten pm when all the guests left to go home leaving the newlyweds with their parents sharing some intimacy.  
"Mark baby... I still remember when you were a crying baby in my arms... And now look at you, you're already married ! Time really is fast..." Mama Tuan had tears again, but it was ok, it's the only day she's allowed to cry this much.  
Mark hugged his mother tightly, "Mom... I know, time really flies fast..." He said feeling upcoming tears so he hides himself in the crook of his mother's neck.  
"Aaaah my son, my precious son..." Papa Tuan said hugging both Mark and his mother together.  
Jackson and his father were next to them watching the scene with their warmest smile and eyes, kind of envious but happy.  
"Jackson, I'm sure if your mother was still there she would have been so happy..." Papa Wang whispered looking at the hugging family.  
Jackson was surprised, he didn't expect his father to talk about his mother, "Why do y-" He was cut by his father,  
"Because I need to, Jackson, I know I really hadn't been a good father and I'm still regretting it, but since you've grown so much that you're getting married now, I just can't help but feel again what I felt when I married her. We were so happy and then we had you, now that I think back it's so nostalgic..." Papa Wang said with a longing and sad look. But when he looked at Jackson, his face illuminates, he won't be sad on this wonderful day.  
When they finished all the hugging and talking and crying and laughing, it was around one am already and it was better for parents to rest because the day wasn't so easy.  
In the end, the day wasn't as messy as Mark thought, there were surely some minor problems but it was a nice and perfect day, a day that both Jackson and Mark will remember. _Forever_.

Jackson and Mark got back home tired but fired up, somehow on the way home they ended up kissing each other deeply, exploring the other's mouth like it was the first they're discovering it.  
It all started with a hand squeezing a knee that was slowly going up to someone's thigh, massaging it a little too strong making that someone shiver at the touch.  
Of course Jackson won't be passive that night, or that morning. Because of Mark's condition, he never dared to do more than just touch him, but he really couldn't refrain himself anymore but if Mark say no then it's a no and nothing more.  
Back there, our newlyweds were kissing heatedly, Mark's back on the door, Jackson's arms around his body holding him tight, a knee between his legs.  
"If you want me to stop, just say so, don't hesitate, I will stop." Jackson managed to say between two kisses.  
Mark pulled Jackson a little closer if possible and nipped at his lower lip before pushing his tongue in the half open mouth that welcomed warmly the newcomer, without noticing they were fighting for dominance and surprisingly Mark won, biting over and over at the tired tongue that were trying to beg for some mercy.  
"It's about time that... I get over it..." Mark breathed out, placing his forehead against the younger's forehead.  
This moment was the most precious for both of them, forehead against forehead, eyes in eyes, all the words needed were spoken in a blink and here comes again the heated kisses.  
In the process, Jackson lifted the older without him noticing and were heading toward their bedroom. Unexpectedly, they made it to the room without breaking something and without leaving each other's mouth.  
Mark was deposed delicately like a princess on their king sized bed. Jackson was hovering over Mark who was laying comfortably, appreciating the feeling Jackson gave, it was rough, delicate, heated, full of love. So much feels in one single movement.  
"Jackson !" Mark grunted, "Be rougher !" Mark had the feeling that he overcame his old fears, even if he knows well that Jackson doesn't want to hurt him but this was going way too slow for him, he was at the edge of exploding.  
"But..." Jackson could only say this much when he felt two hands pulling at the collar of his shirt and teeth clashing on his, making both of them grown in hurt, but they don't detach from the other, then he lost all sanity that was left in his mind (not really all uh!) and pinned Mark's wrists above his head and kissed him senselessly, shoving his tongue harshly inside the older's making him whine and exploring every corner.  
Mark was starting to feel uncomfortable under the strong grip around his wrists depriving him from his liberty, but he said nothing because he was the one to say to be rougher. As always Jackson sensed the discomfort and immediately released his hands and raised a little to look at the one under him, "Are you sure you're okay ? Don't force yourself, really." Concern could be seen in those big round eyes.  
"Jackson," Mark breathed, "Like I said it's about time I get over it... You're the only one that can help me. Please, let me forget that it happened..." Mark could feel tears coming quickly, it was still a sensitive topic but today is the day to clean himself and be Jackson's entirely, from mind to body and from body to heart. " _Make me yours._ " was murmured lowly near Jackson's ear making the latter forget everything. They went from sitting position to laying position at the speed of the light.

The last sentence keep replaying in Jackson's mind, it was something he would kill to hear, it was just three words but oh they were pronounced in such a sinful tone. But now wasn't the time to think about that, he can replay it later, now is the time to take care of his precious Markiepooh.  
Again, Jackson was kissing savagely Mark's abused mouth removing both their clothes and without noticing, Mark was already naked in his boxer, same goes to Jackson. After biting and nipping at the now swollen lips, he slowly goes down, leaving hickeys on his neck, on his chest, when his hand brushed against Mark's nipple, the latter whined and grabbed Jackson's biceps, "Move. Faster..." He breathed out, eyes half open, mouth opening and closing fast.  
"Oh my... Please contain your sexiness, it should be forbidden..." Jackson husked, eyes comparable to a predator.  
Mark gulped, "Forbidden ? Do you not want to see it ?" Mark was playing with fire, Jackson could eat him at any moment with those beast eyes, he wouldn't complain though.  
"Don't you dare play with me." His voice was deep and raspy, eyes even darker with lust, a terrifying but so sexy view, Mark really won't mind being eaten alive.  
"Enough talking, come." Mark purred next to Jackson's ear making the latter shiver.  
Yes, it was time to do real things. Insecurity still eating Jackson's inside but then Mark's phrase, _"Make me yours."_ kept playing inside Jackson's mind and it won't go out and he doesn't want to let it go so he will make Mark his and he quite understand why Mark decided to confront his fears today, because it's their _wedding day_.  
After kissing some more and leaving more marks here and there, he lowered himself until his now-husband's boxer and removed it slowly, releasing slowly the leaking, half hard cock. Jackson licked around the length before taking half of it in his mouth, _"Slowly, slowly."_  he kept repeating in his mind to keep it sane but oh it was so hard.  
While sucking Mark's dick, Jackson looked up to see Mark hiding his face with his right arm and clenching tightly on the sheet with the other, Jackson was somehow amazed by the view, it was shy, cute but so sexy ! He couldn't refrain himself anymore, he got up and moved Mark's arm so they were making eye contact, he kissed him a little more before searching in the drawer the lube and a condom when he found it, he put a great amount of lube on his fingers then he looked at Mark, his eyes asked if everything was okay, if he didn't change his mind and he just received a shaky nod in response. Mark wasn't sure himself if he was good, he only needs to know that he wants it and needs it desperately, he wants to be clean and be able to stand as a perfect husband.  
Both were unsure of what to do, but since they arrived so far it was worth a try. Jackson's fingers were at Mark's entrance, with a last look, he pushed one finger in, watching and noting every reactions, Mark winced at the intrusion but he seemed just uncomfortable. Jackson first tried to move in and out with only one finger being as careful as walking on a wire, when Mark seemed to relax a little, he continued a little the slow thrusts before adding a finger which made Mark whine surprising Jackson, it was a high pitch and short sound but so sinfully sexy. He kept the same slow pace and was scissorring him before adding a third finger, this time Mark winced because of pain, Jackson's reflex was to take Mark's hard cock with his free hand and pump it.  
Mark was having all type of feelings, discomfort, scare, pain and the worst he may soon have flashbacks of the unwanted and hateful moment. He closed his eyes, clenched on the sheet and tightened around Jackson's fingers unconsciously. The hand pumping his length immediately made him forget things, he was feeling pleasure mixed with pain but it was good.  
Mark seemed to relax after more thrusting, but if Mark has a hard time to relax with three fingers how will he be able to take something much bigger ? Well they'll have to improvise. When Jackson took off his finger, Mark whined due to the loss, surprising Jackson again, maybe it won't be a too big problem ?  
Jackson put a generous amount of lube on his own cock, he placed himself in front of Mark's entrance, before entering he took Mark's hand and tried to find a change of mind in Mark's eyes but everything he could see was determination, that warmed his heart so much, seeing Mark's courage, he can't back off, he will support Mark in his fight with everything he has.  
"Baby, I'm entering..." Jackson rasped low, holding Mark's hand as tightly as possible but the hand wanted to escape and find its way to his back. He entered as slowly as possible but it was way too hard to contain himself inside this hot place, he was only half entered and he thinks his dick will melt from the heat.  
Suddenly he feels Mark move under him, he opened his eyes he didn't know he closed, and sees Mark breathing hard, eyes shut close tightly, tears falling down, hands covering his mouth, legs spread as wide as possible. He was terrified, of course, even if it has been seven years, it wasn't something easily forgettable, "Baby, it's me, do you hear me ?" Jackson murmured near Mark's ear, his back hurts from the position but he has to deal with it. Seeing that Mark wasn't responding, Jackson took both of Mark's arms and put them around his neck, on his back where they were and kissed him slowly, softly conveying all the love he have for him and that he wasn't one of _them_ hoping that it would work, "Mark, baby, don't be afraid, open your eyes, see me." Jackson tries again, lowly. This time, Mark opened slightly his eyes, vision blurred with tears but he became familiar with Jackson's fuzzy figure, he recognize his scent, his arms, his back, his breath. _"Yeah, there's nothing to be afraid, it's Jackson, Jackson."_  Mark smiled, tightened his grip and pulled Jackson closer making the latter go completely inside him, Mark winced due to the intrusion and pain but he laughed, how ? He didn't know himself, he just knows that it's Jackson, Jackson's shape and he will remember it. Forever.  
Jackson was confused, Mark's expression was confusing.  
"Hey, you alright ?" Jackson whispered softly, eyeing the other's expression.  
Mark didn't answer immediately, still trying to get used to the twitching thing inside him, "Yeah... Alright Jackson, everything is alright..." Mark finally breathed out, his grip stronger pulling the younger closer.  
Jackson seemed to understand, this time Mark trusted him and opened his eyes to see him, Jackson was really touched, they trust each other so naturally that they never really questioned it but having a proof that they really trusted each other was enough to make Jackson cry.  
He waited a little more before Mark gave him the signal that he can move, he starts with a slow pace but always going all the way in, searching for the right spot. After a few more thrusts, he finally found the spot that made Mark see stars, he only needed to hear a small and sexy 'faster' from Mark that he nearly gave in, he wants so much to let his desires take control of his body and pound fast and hard but he can't and it's too frustrating. With a faster pace, he can feel Mark tightening around him showing that he was close but Jackson was a little far from coming, retaining and controlling his mind and body took over the pleasure, but being inside Mark was way too hot and too good, having Mark dig his nails in his back, hearing Mark's high pitch and shy cries near his ear, adding one thing with another made Jackson close to the explosion, they will both soon explode.  
"I-I'm close..." Mark managed to say between two thrusts, he dug his nails so deep in Jackson's back that the latter was bleeding but they both were too high in their pleasure to take care of this.  
"Me too... Together.." Jackson growled making Mark shiver and a little closer to his orgasm, he took Mark's length and started pumping it.  
Mark was crying a lot, Jackson was pounding hard. They both were close and wanted to let it all out, with a few more hard thrusts and hits on the abused ball of nerve that made Mark cry his life out of his lungs, Jackson was ready to pull out but Mark's legs crossed behind him forcing him to stay where he was, "Come inside, I want you." Mark whispered in a deep low voice making it as sexy as possible.  
"Stop stirring me..." Jackson grunted, already on edge, he was ready to shoot everything he had right now.  
They didn't last very long, with not much thrusts, they came while shouting the other's name, Mark came on both of their stomachs and in Jackson's hand while the other came inside the hot cavern, shooting everything.  
They stayed in their position a little more before Jackson pulled out, letting his seed leaks out of Mark's reddened hole, the view was really good and sexy, if Jackson wasn't so tired he could have gone for a second round. When he pulled out, he nearly fall on Mark but managed to fall beside him and avoid crushing him, they both were too tired to clean up but it was becoming sticky so Jackson got up and took a wet towel and cleaned both of them before falling beside his beloved husband.  
Jackson took Mark in his arm, Mark's head buried in Jackson's chest, inhaling his scent and Jackson's head was in Mark's hair sniffing the other too, after sex they still needed to feel the other from scent to look to kisses. They weren't as heated as earlier, they were just appeasing, just conveying their love for each other and their need for each other.  
 _"What did I do to deserve this ? Really, too much happiness will be the end of me..."_  They both thought at the same time, closing their eyes just appreciating the other's presence.  
"I love you." Mark said.  
"I love you too." Jackson responded.  
That's everything they needed to say and to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me, should I stop writing smut definitively or keep trying ? xD  
> I'm also going to start another fiction (*cough*soulmates au*cough*) and it should be a one shot so it'll take some time c:  
> Thank you for reading and the kudos *bow* and sorry for those "bad" ending chapters... T-T


End file.
